Tag Archives: Project Runway

Here We Go ~ Trashy TV Recap!

So this week I had a little surprise waiting for me in my DVR inbox.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team

Oh, yeah! I stumbled upon this show in the first season and fell in love. I don’t know why. I was sort of a cheerleader in 7th grade, I don’t dance, and I’m not much of a football fan, but I love, love, love watching this series. It’s on CMT (that’s the country music channel, which makes me wonder how the heck I ever stumbled upon the show to begin with! Must’ve been a really slooooooow day), Thursdays at 10pm.

This week two of my shows ended, which makes me wonder what I’m going to replace them with. I suppose it’ll have to be the cheerleaders, but I don’t know. Got any suggestions?

Top Chef: Just Desserts

This was the first show this week to have their finale. My friend, humor writer Gayle Carline had this to say on facebook:

“Gayle Carline is watching Top Chef Just Desserts. No one is failing or fighting or bursting into flame. As a matter of fact, it’s kind of a boring episode for the finale.”

Um, yeah. The chefs had to make a showpiece, some bread, an entremets (that’s a fancy word for … cake), and a bon bon. Are you thinking the same thing I am? *cue the music and let’s all sway our hips to Ricky Martin’s ‘Shake your bon bons’. Ooooh, yeah, I hummed this song for the rest of the episode. Much to my son’s dismay. Apparently he does not appreciate the finer points of music. Whatever.

Back to the show! I forgot to mention that these really big deal pastry chefs got to help the finalists. They’re all MOF’s, which doesn’t stand for what I thought it did. It mean’s they’re really, really good at what they do. All the chefs were peeing their pants over the MOF’s. (yeah, it makes me giggle a little bit, too. Shake your bon bon while saying MOF!) See Gayle? We make our own excitement here at Etherton House.

Guess what?! All the chefs get to choose TWO former contestants to help them as sous chefs. Oooooh, I wonder if anyone will pick the squirrel disguised as a human – Craig.

Naw, he didn’t get picked, but Sally totally won the sous chef jackpot with Orlando. Guess what he excels at? Show pieces! Guess what Sally sucks at? Show pieces! It’s almost like that was planned…

So, the chefs get to it, making dessert and trying not to freak out. Orlando basically makes Sally’s entire show piece and I’m thinking that’s not such a good idea. Matthew wants to push the limit and tries sugar work. For the first time in his career. Um, are you delirious? Stick to what you know!

Chris makes an amazing show piece – all by himself. Orlando, newly reformed and now sweet as pie, he admits that he didn’t want to work with anyone, but realized he had to ‘man up’ (his words) and help. He lost his chance at the title, so he had to do the right thing. Awww. Sniff, sniff. I love Orlando. Sort of.

Judging!

There are, like, a hundred judges for this challenge so I won’t name them all. They are big names in the industry, that’s all you really need to know. Actually, you don’t even need to know that. What you do need to know is that all of the show pieces look amazing and if I had to eat all those desserts there would be nothing left on all those tables. It might cost me one hundred marbles, but they looked so good!

Everyone rocked it. The judges have a hard time picking each dessert apart and critiquing such amazing work.

Chris wins! Yay! Confetti, balloons, champagne! I’m totally psyched he won. He had the mad pastry skillz and the best show piece. Yay!

America’s Next Top Model

Ok Gayle, you want fireworks and drama? Watch ANTM! Whew, these girls just get more and more crazy and the week’s go on.

Of course the show starts with Lisa missing Bre and dissing Bianca. Then, Alexandria and Bianca get into a fight over the shower. What? Grow up, ladies!

Last week Jay told Shannon she needs to be ‘edgy’ and, of course, Shannon thinks that means raunchy. Um, no. It means edgy.

The girls go to the rooftop of the Roosevelt Hotel, an iconic place in Hollywood (I’ve been in the hotel, never on the roof. Darn). Their challenge is to come up with a fragrance and then they’ll have to promote it to their fans. What this has to do with modeling, not really sure, but let’s just go with it.

The girls take their time (Alexandria a little too much time) and pick 3 fragrances to blend into their ‘signature’ scent. Allison calls hers, ‘Honey Blood’. Now, I ask you my beloved readers, would you wear a perfume called Honey Blood?

So, in keeping with her, I’m such a sweet, innocent, girl routine, Shannon wants her perfume to be, angelic, pure, and smitten. Huh? I thought smitten was when you were kind of lusting after someone.

Lisa had the best quote of the night, “I don’t know what Shannon is selling, but I know she’s selling herself short.” Okay, Lisa isn’t my favorite, but at least she’s honest.

SO. The girls have to get into a bathtub (with water and rose petals), to sell their fragrance to their fans. Bianca is having none of that. She says Tyra would never get into a tub, that she wants to be treated like a professional, she’s a lady and wants respect.

Um, you’re on a Reality TV show. For the second time. You sort of checked ‘respect’ off the list before you showed up. Seriously.

Not only that, but Tyra is the one who probably thought of the tub and you should probably get in it.  Nope. Bianca isn’t listening to me and my fabulous advice. She refuses to get into the tub. Heck, even Nigel got in the tub!

At judging Bianca is all ready to defend her position and says that Beyonce (just pretend there’s an accent over the e, I can’t figure out how to do it) or Rhianna would never do something like that and Tyra tells her, but you’re not Beyonce. Take that Bianca!

What else did Tyra tell her? Get in the dang tub! Love Tyra.

Wait, back to the challenge. Lisa wins the perfume challenge.

The girls have to do a photo shoot on a Harley while portraying either Nene or Snooki.

Shannon only has one pose, Bianca makes love to a pickle (well, it looked a bit strange) and Alexandria looked a bit wooden.

Lisa won the photo shoot challenge. She’s on fire this week!

Two girls go home – Bianca (no surprise there!) and Kayla. Aww, I love Kayla. Shannon was on the chopping block, but she got to stay. Dang it.

I would post pictures, but the CW site is messed up today. Sorry about that.

Project Runway

Arrgh! What’s up with all the websites today? Now PR isn’t letting me have pictures either. Well, you’re just going to have to imagine what I’m talking about and then go check out the websites for photos. Again, sorry.

The show starts with Tim giving each designer $500 and 30 minutes at Mood. Anya totally changes her looks while she’s at Mood. Procrastinate much?

Josh also gets new fabric. A gorgeous bright green colored something that he makes shorts out of, but I think they look like slime panties. With ties over the thigh. Yikes.

Viktor also changes things up and ditches the gorgeous flowy dress the judges loved last week. Why, Viktor, why??? For the love of Pete and all that is good in cheese, why?

Kimberly only makes a few changes, and tweaks. Good call.

Poor Josh, he’s all over the place. Viktor gives him a pep talk, Anya gives him a pep talk, I’m sure the mannequins gave him a pep talk. Pull it together, man! You’ve got a runway show to put on.

Now, I like Anya as a person, but I’m bored by her fashion. What I’m also bored with is her penchant for showing her boobies. Really. Every outfit she wears is open at the chest and flows down to her navel. I don’t even know if she owns a bra. Yes, she has very nice boobies, but really, I don’t need to see them all the time.

Runway day!

Kimberly’s line is sparkly and colorful. Like a Barbie doll’s closet.

Joshua’s line is very colorful, too. More like gay Ken doll’s closet.

Viktor’s line is sophisticated and yet edgy. Shannon needs to check out Viktor to understand edgy does not mean raunchy.

Anya’s line is very flowy with lots and lots of boobies almost showing. Big surprise there. It looks like Anya made a closet full of clothes for herself. 8 of the 10 dresses have plunging necklines. We’re talking straight down to the, well, you know where I mean.

Judging!

Kimberly listened to all the critiques and grew as a designer. Her looks were urban cool. Michael Kors thought she had great clothes, but not a great collection. Nina thinks she is ‘almost there’, but not ready yet to be an independent designer.

Joshua was focused with gorgeous tailoring, fun prints and the best styling. He has loads of ideas and is probably ready for the big time.

Viktor got a little lost with too much of the black sheer looks. He should’ve stayed with the super cool prints he made (um, like the dress he ditched at the last minute).

Anya needs more variety and to think of other women when designing. She’s a little one note, but has taste and style.

So who wins?

Anya. Ugh. I don’t think the judges got it right this time either. Bummer.

Well, there you have it. This week’s recap in a minute. ; )

I need new shows, tell me what you want to read about or I might have to start watching ‘Call of the Wildman’.

Check out the video and you’ll know why I shudder to think you’d do that to me!

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/call-of-the-wildman/

Fantasy Friday with your Trashy TV Recap!

Mad Fashion

You know how a few weeks ago I said I’d give Chris March a second date? Well, I’m totally smitten. I don’t know if it’s his laugh, or his larger-than-life personality, but I’m definitely loving his show, Mad Fashion. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do! It’s on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10PM.

This week Chris got a call from Jennifer Coolidge. She’s one of my favorite actresses because she can play dumb brilliantly. Love, love, loved her in Legally Blonde! You just bend, and snap! Ugh. Love.

Anyway, so Jennifer is, like, the queen of some float for Mardi Gras and thought she could just wing it. When she realized she needed something fabulous, she called Chris. Get this – she gives him three days to make a costume for her! Why do these clients always wait until the last minute? Sure, Chris is brilliant and can whip up extreme fashion in nothing flat, but jeez. It’s like he’s still on Project Runway, but with a bigger budget and no Tim Gunn saying, ‘Make it work’. Poor Chris!

Jennifer wants something with, maybe, ‘Rockets in the breast’. O.M.G. That woman is hilarious!

Long story short – Chris makes it work and they get to New Orleans the day before the parade to finish everything up.

THIS is the final product.

What did Jennifer say when she had it all put on?

“I so want to stop at 7/11 and get some gum.”

Hilarious! Okay, so there weren’t any rockets from the breasts, but she looked amazing.

Just another day in the life of Chris March and his Mad Fashion team. Whew!

Rachel Zoe had her baby (so cute!), Rodger bought her an outrageous 10 Karat diamond ring as a ‘push present’, Joey & Mandana were mean and catty about Jeremiah, who was kind enough to come back and decorate the baby’s room. Even though they ditched him to go to the hospital to be with Rachel. Whatever. I’m out of love with this show. Moving on.

Top Chef Just Desserts

This week the cheftestants got right into the elimination challenge. No quick fire, no warm up, bam! Straight to the challenge. Which was to create a dessert that looks like a savory dish from a country that they choose.

Chris gets France, Orlando Spain, Matthew Italy, and Sally chooses Cuba. Cuba? Really? Um, okay then. Good luck with that.

When they start their cooking, all of the chefs are freaking out a little except Matthew. He knew exactly what he wanted to make and never wavered. His pick? Manicotti.

Dude, it’s Italy, you can do so much more! Oh, well.

When Johnny comes for his little visit/pep talk, Chris tells him he’s making Beef Wellington. Um, isn’t that a British dish? Apparently Chris doesn’t know the history of his dish – it was named after the Duke of Wellington (an English dude). Buuuuut, since it was named for him after he defeated Napoleon, and there is actually a French dish similar – Filet en croute, Johnny let’s it slide. Hmmm.

Orlando decides to make paella and it’s a little embarrassing how much he’s sucking up to Johnny. In the past, he’s butted heads with the judge, but on that day, Orlando saw the wisdom of everything Johnny said. Really? No, seriously, what happened to whiney, snarky Orlando? Who’s this timid little thing making paella? I miss Orlando!

Sally spends way too much time freaking out about her dish and thinks she’ll make two and pick the best one, but Johnny calms her down and she settles for a Cuban sandwich. Whew! Now she can start cooking (it’s only taken, like, an hour for her to decide on this. Yes, an hour.)

Right. So after we get some sob stories, Sally was a rowdy teenager, but totally appreciates everything her mom’s done for her. Orlando was shunned by his family when he came out, etc. we get back to the real excitement. Cooking.

Judging:

Chris told Johnny he wouldn’t use puff pastry, but guess what’s on his beef? Yep, store bought puff pastry. Lazy boy didn’t even make his own! That could be the one thing that sends him home.

Matthew told Johnny he’d use tomatoes in his dish, but changes his mind and only uses jelly. Hmmm, that could be the thing that sends him home. Silly boys. Never make last minute changes!

Cat Cora is the guest judge and Orlando is all giddy over her. She’s his favorite chef and he almost pee’s himself when he presents his dish to her. Yep. Orlando has left the building. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s a pale comparison to the original Orlando. Jus’ sayin’.

The judges argue back and forth over tiny little flaws in everyone’s dish. Orlando’s rice is mushy, Sally’s mousse is too messy, Matthew wasn’t creative enough, and that dreaded puff pastry for Chris.

Who stays for the finale and who goes home?

Sally wins!

Orlando goes home!

Wow. That kind of shocked me a little. I thought for sure Matthew was going home, but the judges really hated Orlando’s rice. And in front of Cat Cora, too. Poor Orlando.

I was really hoping for a Chris/Orlando showdown at the finale. Oh, well. We’ll see next week who is Top Chef!

America’s Next Top Model

Let me just say before we begin. I had no idea who Coca Rocha was before this show, but I’m so smitten with her! She’s gorgeous. Truly. Love.

Backup, so the show starts with the girls having a football challenge. All the eliminated girls are brought back to be on teams with the remaining girls.

Each team gets two professional football players. What?!?

Yep. The winning team will get $5000 for the football player’s charities. Super cool. The winning model gets jewelry. Huh.

It’s not just a football game, it’s also a photo challenge. Each girl has to pose with the football players at certain times throughout the game. Yikes. That makes my head swim, I can only imagine how the girls feel. Are we modeling or playing football? Both!

Kayla wins the photo challenge and gets to be on Tyra’s website for something. I forget because I was too busy looking at her pretty sparkly jewelry. Yep, I’m easily distracted by sparkly things.

The real photo challenge of the week is a bitch fight with Coco Rocha. She’s a supermodel who is known for her posing skills. She works her angles, baby! Okay, so I don’t really know what that means, but they kept saying it, so I thought I’d throw it in here. I think it means she can make weird faces look pretty.

You can’t really see her gorgeous face here, but she was amazing with all the girls. They were pulling her hair, her clothes, everything and she just kept on modeling.

There was a moment when Angelea was doubting herself and Mr. Jay had to give her a pep talk. I’m going to include what he told her here because it hit me that this is what so many of us writers are doing. We’re “struggling with a sense of self and whether we’re worthy enough.” Yeah, we are.

Anytime you put something out there, whether it’s writing or modeling, you’re exposed to judgments and that can be harsh.

Well, Angelea pulled herself together and rocked the rest of the photo shoot. Not well enough to get top photo, but she was close.

Best photo this week went to Dominique. I don’t know why, but the judges loved it. Meh.

The bottom two were Bre and Alexandria. Tyra told the girls that they both are only showing a smidgen of the power they had in their original cycles. Hmm. Bre and Alexandria thought they were super powerful and would take the top photo spot. Ooops.

Bre was eliminated and instead of waiting patiently to hug Tyra and the other girls, she just left the room. It was awkward and strange. I thought Bre had more class than that.

Oh, well. Buh-bye Bre!

Project Runway

This week is Part One of the Finale! All of the designers go home to make their ten piece collection. As always, Tim Gunn visits each designer to check on their progress.

First up, Kimberly.

Tim likes thinks she needs to take more risks and wow the judges.

Next, Tim goes to Trinidad to see Anya’s collection.

Well, Anya has some pretty fabric, but nothing constructed yet. Um, you only have a few weeks, girlfriend! Get sewing!!

Viktor has amazing clothes that totally wow Tim, but he warns Viktor not to over think his designs. To let his visceral dictate. What the hell does that mean?

To be more base or crude? To follow his instinct more? I thought that’s what he was doing. I sure hope Viktor gets what Tim means!

On to Joshua. Poor, poor Joshy. Tim hates all of his fabrics, even saying that one of them makes him sad and want to weep. He wants to know what happened? Where’s the sex?

Oh. My. Heck.

I love Tim Gunn so much! He’s a total crack up in a suit. Love.

Once all the designers get back to New York (in an amazing penthouse suite!!), Tim tells them they have to show three looks and one of them is going to get booted.

All of the designers, except Viktor, freak out. Viktor is totally done with his collection, but the other three are still sewing, still designing. Um, wasn’t that what all that time at home was for? Duh.

On the runway Viktor’s looks are amazing. Kimberly’s are, um, cheap? Trashy? Ick. I don’t like them at all, which is strange since I usually like her designs. Joshua’s look very cool and Anya’s are ho-hum.

The judges basically rip all the collections apart and give out just as many compliments to each designer. You really have no idea who is going to go home, but are pretty sure it’s going to be one of the girls. Even the girls think it’s going to be one of them.

Well, those stinky judges tell Joshua he’s in, then Viktor, then Kimberly. Which leaves Anya standing alone on the runway. Poor Anya. (okay, secretly I’m ecstatic at this point. Anya needs to go home! Her collection was boooooooring.) Wait a minute. Did Heidi just tell Anya she’s in as well? Damn. Yep, all four of the designers will show their collection at Fashion Week.

If they pull another Mondo on me, I’ll be so mad! Viktor is clearly the most talented, but Anya has been a favorite the whole show. We’ll see what happens next week. Ugh!

Until then, here are the designers three runway looks. Which is your favorite? Who do you want to win?

 

Trashy TV Recap ~ TCJD, ANTM, PR

What’s new?

We’re jumping right into the trash today with a new show I saw over the weekend. Wow. That’s all I can say about Tough Love Miami. Have any of you watched this show? I caught one episode and was shocked at the women! They have issues, we’re talking some serious issues, and when Steve (the matchmaker, but not in the scary Patti Stengler way) tried to talk to them about how to change – they would argue with him! The website says this is season three. Really? How have I missed one and two?

Okay, I admit it, I was intrigued and might have to find this so I can DVR one more episode. Just one.

Rachel Zoe

I thought this was the last week for Rachel Zoe, but there’s one more and then I get to see her little baby. This week Rachel finally let Jeremiah go on a styling gig, but she and Joey were so mean to him. It upset me. Then when Rodger fired Jeremiah, I wanted to cry! I was so worried for him that I actually googled him to see how he’s doing. Yeah, I’m like that with characters in books, too. Except I can’t really google them. I just think about them for a long time after I’ve finished the book and wonder what their lives are like.

Anyway, it seems that Jeremiah isn’t actually fired. But, but, but, it sounded like Rodger fired him. I’m so confused! Should I be worried? Happy? Ah, screw it. Rachel’s having her baby next week. Who cares what Jeremiah’s doing, I get to see a baby!

America’s Next Top Model

Ah, my sweet little models on Americal’s Next Top Model. What is a season without some screaming and infighting? You didn’t disappoint this week.

I don’t really know what all the screaming was about. Something having to do with Bianca and Shannon and the phone. Then Lisa got involved and that’s when the screaming started. That Lisa likes to yell. And curse. Dang, wash your mouth out with soap!

Whatever. On to the challenge. This week the girls had to walk a runway for the Kardashian sisters. Wait, did I mention the runway involved a spinning carousel? Yeah, that’s right. Spinning. Oh. My. Heck. In six inch heels.

Most of the girls did okay with the heels and spinning carousel, Angelea was screaming like a fool and Mr. Jay said she ‘Sounds like someone’s alcoholic aunt.’ Yep, about sums it up. Lisa was her crazy self and at the end of the challenge, Lisa and Bre won. Yawn.

Have I mentioned Bianca needs to get over herself? She does, in a major way! She kept boo-hooing to Ms. J that she’s above all the other models because she has a contract and she’s the only *real* model there. Um, if you’re the only *real* model and you have a contract, why the heck are you on a reality show? I’m pretty sure any agent with half a brain wouldn’t push you to do the show. They’d be booking more photo shoots. Leave already!

The photo challenge this week is just too darn cool. The girls get to channel Michael Jackson. As a surprise, LaToya Jackson comes on set to help the girls. Some of the girls get to wear MJ’s actual costumes. Whoa. That would be epic and terrifying at the same time. Can you imagine if you, oh, I don’t know, passed gas in his trousers?

Hopefully Bre didn’t do anything silly like that. Doesn’t she look cool?

I thought all of the girls rocked the photo shoot and judging would be hard, but I don’t pick the photos to be used. Tyra does and I think she picked a few stinkers.

It didn’t matter, though because LaToya got to pick the winner AND loser.

So, who won?

Laura! Ah, I just love her. She’s sweet and innocent and she avoids all the drama in the house.

Who went home?

No one. Yep, LaToya said Michael Jackson was all about love and helping people, so she didn’t want to tarnish his memory. Dang. I was really hoping either Lisa would go home. She was in the bottom two with Angelea. Maybe next time.

Top Chef Just Desserts

This week’s guest judge is François Payard. Know what I learned this week? François has a patisserie in Vegas. Guess where I’m going next month? You guessed it! Vegas. I’m so looking him up and getting a macaroon.

So the cheftestants had to make a pie for the judges. A simple pie is anything but and this challenge had them all scrambling. Oh, did I mention they had to do it with one had behind their back? It was hilarious watching them try to open jars, cut fruit, and roll out dough. They were actually kind of nice and kept helping each other. I liked that.

Poor Matthew, he wasn’t thinking and used his forbidden hand to move the plate and was DQ’d. Bummer. Carlos won the challenge and a cool $5,000. Nice job!

The Elimination Challenge this week sent the chefs to an ‘upscale carnival’. They were challenged to make a tasty treat for 150 guests. Now, I don’t know about you, but sometimes just making dinner for my family stresses me out. How do you know how much food to get for 150 people? That always boggles my mind.

Johnny! I love it when Johnny comes in the kitchen to check on the chefs. He tries to be all cool and supportive, but sometimes you just get the feeling he’s thinking, ‘WTF?’. Love him!

When they call time, Sally realizes she left her corn pudding in the blast freezer and is stressed she’s going to be sent home because of it. Hmmm, drama.

That night at the TCJD super secret house, Carlos, Orlando, and Matthew get smashed and play a game of ‘Never have I ever’. I just wish Bravo had a clip of it on the website. I couldn’t find one, but maybe it’s hidden in there somewhere. In the morning they regret the drinking, but it was awesome to watch.

So the guest judge for the Elimination Challenge is Dana Cowin, yeah, I don’t know who she is either.

Matthew and Sally are the frontrunners in this challenge, which leaves Orlando, Chris, and Carlos in the bottom.

I just love it how Chris never understands that what he did was not good. He’s very confident, that Chris.

Matthew wins the challenge – yay! He and Sally are my two favorites.

Carlos goes home. Meh. At least Chris and Orlando have one more week to fight it out for dessert supremacy. I love their little battle for the top. As they posture and preen, Sally and Matthew are just going to slip right on past and win the whole darn thing!

and finally…

Project Runway

Wow, this is the final challenge before the designers go home to make a collection for Fashion Week. I can’t believe we’re down to the final five. Yikes.

The designers take a field trip to Governors Island to get inspiration from the art. There are some amazing pieces on that little island. Definitely a cool place to check out if you’re in New York.

Once back in the workshop Tim comes in with the dreaded button bag! Oooooh, what’s going to happen?

All of the designers get to pick an assistant. Cool! But wait, the assistants are the last five designers sent home. Hmmmm….

Joshua picks Bryce and immediately starts in on Anya. That man is so catty! He really should focus more on his clothes and less on Anya. Seriously.

Laura boo-hoos that she has wanted to show at Fashion Week since she was ten and this is so important to her. Girl, if it’s that important, stop crying and go make something fashionable! Geez.

So, the designers make their garments, change their minds, make something new, drive their assistants crazy, and then finally make something that goes down the runway.

Which brings us to – the runway show!

Ugh! The judges love Anya. Again. I’m starting to think this season is going to end much the same way last season ended. With my favorite not winning. But wait, I don’t have a favorite. Okay, fine, I just don’t want Anya to win, but I think she will.

What do you think? These are her winning looks. The judges thought she showed ‘range’ I thought they all looked too similar. Zoe Saldana, the guest judge thought the one on the left looked like a condom. Um, yeah she’s right!

The dress Anya’s wearing is more interesting to me than the ones she made. But alas, I am not Michael Kors.

Speaking of MK – he still cracks me up. He tells Joshua that he’s ‘like a magpie – he’s attracted to anything shiny.’ Like that’s a bad thing?

Once they’ve all been judged, the designers have to say why they should stay and what other two designers they would pick. All of them say Anya, which is odd since they have all bashed her at one time or another.

Here’s how it goes down:

Heidi tells Anya she’s in (yeah, like we didn’t already know). Then Viktor is in, Joshua is in, and that leaves Laura and Kimberly in the bottom.

Heidi’s been hinting all night that more than one designer could go home. Will they send both home?

Nope. Just Laura gets the boot. Her tears were for naught.

Buh-bye Laura. I’ll miss her. She was fun.

Next week promises to be crazy. What will these designers get up to next? Which model will be sent home and what bizarre new reality show will I become addicted to?

Back by Popular Demand – Trashy TV Recap!

Yep, it’s back. Okay, so it was only gone a week, but you know what? I missed it! So, here it is in all it’s fabulousness! Enjoy.

Before we get to the three shows I’ll recap, I thought I’d mention a few shows that caught my attention this week.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

Yes, there really is a reality show about this. Girls in England who live in caravans (trailers to us US folk) have these crazy weddings where the dresses are huge – we’re talking Marie Antoinette would be jealous of the width of the skirts – huge. It’s a total riot to watch, so check it out.

Okay, I know I said I’d rather watch Hillbilly Handfishin’ before I watched Millionaire Matchmaker again, but Patty slays me. This time out she had a Russian ball buster and a gay guy who thought he was the wisest guy on the planet. I had to pick up the kid from school, so I didn’t get to see if the dates worked out and I didn’t even care. Just the interview process was enough to leave me almost pee’ing my pants!

Tabatha’s Salon Takeover

Oh. My. Curlers. Tabatha is awesome. She’s terrifying and hilarious. I actually DVR’d a show for this Saturday because I only saw part of the show and I just HAVE to know what happened. She’s a ball buster, that Tabatha.

This week on America’s Next Top Model I started to like the girls again. Maybe because Brittany went home last week. She was loud and just too aggressive.

The girls all got a visit from Tyra and some dude named Martin Lindstrom. He’s considered a Brand Genius. Sure, that’s all fine and well for models, but if Tyra ever does anything with writers, I expect to see Kristen Lamb on that show! So, Martin gives the girls one word to describe them and their brand. The next day they all get Ty-overs with Ashlee Simpson on hand to lend support.

Ashlee, really? Maybe it’s because she’s had so many different hair colors. Whatever, she’s cute and the girls liked having her around.

Well, you know how it goes with Ty-overs, there’s always someone who goes crazy with the drama and cries. This time it’s Bre. Tyra wants her hair short and sleek. You know what? That haircut rocks! It was all big and puffy before, now it’s chic.

After their Ty-overs, the girls had to make a Pink’s hot dog with their brand in mind and exude their word. Um, what? I have to make a hot dog, then take pictures while eating the hot dog and look like my brand? Is someone smoking the hot dogs here?

In case you’re wondering, here are their words:

Lisa – Daring (The flip side of this was that the fans didn’t find Lisa trustworthy. Ooops!)

Sheena – Unexpected (Seriously? There is nothing surprising or unexpected from her. Yawn)

Kayla – Free (Because, you know, LGBT is so 5 years ago, according to Mr. Lindstrom)

Shannon – Trustworthy (I say boring, but they say trustworthy. Okay.)

Dominique – Survivor (As in Redemption Island? Can someone please vote her off!)

Allison – Unique (I like Allison, but her kewpie eyes and broken down doll look terrifies me)

Angelea – Persistence (It’s fun to note here that the fans thought she looked cheap, especially her shoes. I really want to dislike her, but the girl’s got spunk. And my respect)

Bre – Girlfriend (Yeah, I could see hanging out with Bre and shopping together. She’s cool)

Isis – Inspiration (Duh! Isis is a dude who became a woman and is feminine and gorgeous than some of the women I know. She followed her dream and rocks her brand)

Camille – Proud (Ya think?)

Laura – Lovable (Another no brainer. Laura reminds me of Shandi – probably my all time favorite model. I totally thought she’d be on this show. Oh, well)

Alexandria – Tough (Mr. Lindstrom said the fans thought she was annoying and said a lot of things with no value. I hope Alexandria gets herself together and drops the dramatics. Not a favorite this cycle or last)

Bianca – Candid (This gave Bianca courage to start drama in the house. Yawn. Been there, bought the t-shirt, have the raging headache to prove it)

Some of the girls rocked the dog and some didn’t. It’s a hot dog – how amazing do you think a photo shoot can be?

Oh. My. Stars. Nigel Barker has hair! Oh, wait, Tyra just shaved his head, no he doesn’t! That was a totally random moment in TV history. I need to take a moment and collect my thoughts. Enjoy this pic of Tyra shaving Nigel’s head:

You all thought I was lying, didn’t you?

So, back to judging.

All of the judges thought Lisa’s picture was the best, but I’m not a fan of seeing food in people’s mouths. I guess the jalapeno’s were ‘daring’!

It was pretty obvious the judges didn’t like Sheena or Kayla’s pictures and so it was no surprise Sheena went home.

Hmmm, now that Nigel is bald again, he’s on my Secret Crush list. I might have to profile him one of these blogs.

Top Chef Just Desserts

Let me just say that last week there was a fabulous Willy Wonka challenge and the best part was seeing Johnny’s sweet smile. This guy is really just too cute. Especially when he smiles. Yep, he’s on the SC list already. You’ll be reading more about him soon. Promise.

See what I mean? Super cutie.

This week’s quickfire challenge’s guest judge is Pichet Ong. Who, you ask? Yeah, I don’t know either.

The chefs have to make a candy bar. Are you kidding me? How fun would that be!

For once, Orlando doesn’t whine. Hmmm, what’s wrong with him?

Some chefs strugge (Matt’s looks like a bar of poop. Really) and others rock it. Sally wins the challenge and immunity. Which is good and bad.

Good because she can’t go home. Bad because it’s a team elimination challenge and she sacrifices her ideas/visions for the team.

For the elimination challenge, the teams have to make a yummy treat for people at a water park. Again, how fun would this be?!?

Finally, we get to see Johnny! He chats with all the chefs and is worried about a few of them, but of course the chefs don’t listen to him. When will they learn?

Orlando, Chris, and Matthew are on the same team. I know what you’re thinking, Dream Team, right? Hmmm, maybe.

Katsie, Rebecca, and Megan. I don’t even know what they made, because Johnny was talking about a place in his neighborhood that makes spumoni and I was focused on him.

Finally, Carlos, Amanda, and Sally make up the last team. They want to make popsicles and funnel cakes, pretty standard water park fare, how can they lose, right? Hmmm.

As you’ve probably guessed by now, Dream Team kind of sucked at the challenge. Orlando made a root beer float with out a float, Chris made a sticky, sweet smoothie thing and Matthew served warm strawberries on a hot day. They didn’t lose, though so they are all safe.

Katsie won the challenge with her spumoni on a stick. Um, okayyy.

That leaves Carlos, Amanda, and Sally in the bottom. Sally, as we know, has immunity, which is the only thing that saves her butt from going home this week. Whew! I like Sally and hope she goes far. Carlos made a sugary abomination with cereal and ice cream and chocolate. Ewww. Amanda made soggy funnel cakes. Amanda goes home! Buh-bye funnel cake maker.

Project Runway

The challenge for this week is to make a signature look for an up and coming band. There are two teams, but this isn’t a typical team challenge. Each person is responsible for their own look and the looks need to be cohesive, but they aren’t judged as a team.

The band is called Sheep Dog and most all of the members look like shaggy dogs. Oh, and did I mention they are MEN. Oh, yes, my pretties, this week’s challenge is to create menswear! Those designers are going nutso over the MEN. Love it!

Warning! Warning! Warning! The show is focusing on Olivier and Anya too much. Hmmm, could it be one of them is going home?

Poor, poor Olivier. He just can’t understand the concept of designing for real people. He tells his band member, repeatedly, that he’s ‘Big’. Um, he’s not plus sized, he’s freaking 6’3″! Get over yourself, Olivier! (as a side note, Olivier was one of my first favorites and is my daughter’s favorite)

Right. Back to sewing. The designers talk to the band and get ideas of what they want and all of them pretty much are hippies. They have long, shaggy hair, wear boots and jeans, not anything too original. And the designers don’t help them into the 21st Century, either.

On the runway, the band performed two songs for the judges – one in each teams’ outfits. Oh. My. Stars. Guest judge is Adam Lambert! Perfect judge for this show. I adore Adam (okay, the fact that he’s from San Diego and I’ve met his dad are huge bonuses, but still, I love his music and his fashion sense).

Team Harmony strikes sweet and sour notes with the judges. They like Bert’s flow-y hippie thang he’s got going on and hate Anya’s outfit. Who could blame them! Michael Kors cracks everyone up with his quips about it looking like a bad Brady Bunch outfit. He’s SO right! Terrible.

Team Untitled (what, are they trying to be rockstars here? dumb name) has two good looks for the judges. Josh – who is trying so hard not to be a bully anymore and actually making me kind of like him – has wicked cream jeans with a zipper that screams, “look at my crotch!”. When Tim challenged him in the workroom on the zipper, Josh defended it, which was hilarious. Heidi also liked the sexiness of the zipper.

The winning outfit went to Viktor, who made an amazing pleather jacket with braiding and fringe. His shirt was Meh, but the pants were cool and actually not white or beige like most of the others. Yay Viktor!

So, who went home? It was between Anya and Olivier. The judges are in LOVE with Anya. I don’t get it, but she’s their pet this season.

Yep, you guessed it. Olivier went home. I’m going to miss that darling boy, but he was way too whiny this show and had major time management issues. Buh-bye sweetling.

That’s it for this week!

What shows did you catch on Trashy TV? You know you sneak a few in, which ones are they? Is there a show I just HAVE to watch?

Trashy TV Recap? Not so much. We’re Taking Risks Today.

I know what you’re thinking, What? No trashy TV recap today? Well my pretties, I could give you the run down on America’s Got Talent (my favorites, Poplyfe didn’t win, Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. did, whatever!), America’s Next Top Model (I was over the moon excited for this cycle – all stars! But was so disappointed that they only brought back the girls I least liked the first time around. Meh.), and Project Runway (the bully Joshua won and Bert got to stay – again. WTF?), but really I’m finding that my recaps have made watching the shows not as fun. I have to take notes and pause the remote for quotes. No more hunkering down with a cup of tea and giggling like a school girl. Maybe I’ll bring it back, but for today, I want to share with you what’s got me all excited.

To celebrate, I’ve made my favorite tea drink. Moroccan Mint tea latte. It’s so easy and super delish. Here’s how you make it: brew up some Moroccan Mint tea, add some milk and hot cocoa powder and stir. That’s it! I like to use Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s Moroccan Mint because it’s nice and mellow. Don’t use peppermint. Trust me.

Now that’s a darn fine latte if ever I had one. Know what else is darn fine? My new business cards! Here they are, what do you think?

Why am I so excited for business cards? Because, when I go to my conference next week, I can hand them out to everyone – and I mean everyone I meet. That, and they’re pink and black, what’s not to love? Hmmm, maybe I should put some bling on them. What do you think?

Wait? What’s this about a conference, you say?

Every February for the past several years I’ve gone to the Southern California Writer’s Conference here in San Diego. Usually, I go and see my friends, have a few drinks in the bar, attend workshops and listen to key note speakers, I might sit in on the agents and editors panels, but I always go as a silent author. Sure, everyone there knows I’m writing a fantasy novel, but I don’t shop it around, I rarely make it to the late night rogue read and critiques, and god forbid I actually have an agent look at my work. Gasp!

Well, next weekend I’m attending the SCWC in Newport Beach. Not only am I stepping out of my San Diego comfort zone and heading north to a new location, I’m taking a risk with my writing.

This time I’ve submitted my work to three, count them THREE people for advance submission critiques. Two of them are agents (big time guys from NYC) and the third is an author and freelance editor. Wow! I’ve never let agents read my stuff before and I’m super nervous and excited.

What’s an advance submission critique? It’s pure gold to a writer. You submit 15-20 pages of your manuscript to the reader in advance of the conference, usually a good month early. That way, when you arrive at the conference, you can sit down with the reader and they’ll tell you how much they love your work (a girl can dream!). Or, if there are issues with it, they’ll gently give suggestions on making the work stronger. Sometimes you get a book deal out of ASCs, but what you really get is face-to-face advice from someone in the business. Like I said – gold.

If you’re a writer and you’ve never been to a conference before, go! The SCWC is a fabulous place to start and I’ve heard wonderful things about Dallas as well. Now that my book is getting nearer to completion, I’m going to find some conferences that are fantasy friendly. Here’s a tip – research your conference. You don’t want to go and find out they only take romance when what you write is horror. That would be a bummer.

Earlier this week, the amazing and fabulous Piper Bayard posted about her seven year journey and gives great tips on writing and conferences. Check it out here. She’s got me rethinking a few things about myself as a writer. In a good way.

So now do you understand the excitement over my new business cards? See at the top where it says, Wife, Mother, Writer? Well, now it’s in print so it has to be true, right?

It’s a little terrifying to put it out there like that, but as it says on the SCWC website, ‘A writer is a writer before, as well as after, publication’.

Do you call yourself a writer? Or just aspiring? Like Piper says, ‘aspiring my ass’. Have you fully committed to your career as a writer? I have and next weekend I’m putting my work out there to be judged. Whether the advance readers love it or hate it, at least I’ll be richer for the experience of having two agents and an editor read my work.

Hi, my name is Tameri and I’m a writer.

Now it’s your turn. What have you done that terrified you, but made you stronger afterward? Do you have a favorite conference you attend? What motivates you to move through your comfort zone and try something new?

Trashy TV Recap – AGT, TCJD & honorable mentions…

Hey there! It’s already Friday and I feel like the White Rabbit is stamping his little paw at me and checking his watch. Oh, yes, I’m very late indeed! (I have a good excuse, really I do, but more on that later)

I’ve made me some nice Earl Grey, so let’s get to this…

America’s Got Talent

It’s the semi-finals and only 10 acts are left. As a special treat, the judges hung out with the acts at their hotel and it was fun to see them more casual and mingling with the lesser folk. Even meany pants Piers smiled a few times. Incredible! Although, that stinky Piers tried to set up Anna Graceman with one of his sons, um, excuse me Piers, but she’s already promised to MY boy. The nerve!

After schmoozing and boozing, we got treated to a performance by last season’s winner, Michael Grimm. I have to admit, he was my favorite the whole season, as well as Prince Poppycock. It was great to see him more professional and with a back up band. I love his voice… ah, so sexy.

Sorry, back to the show. Wait! Did I just see dancing hamsters and robots? Oh, yes, that was the Kia commercial. I actually rewound the DVR just to watch it again. So random. So funny!

Up first, Miami All Stars. Um, what’s with the chicken dancing? We went from hamsters to chickens and I’m confused. They were great, but the judges and I agree they picked a strange theme (football players, cheerleaders, and the chicken mascot). I want salsa and sexy, not high school. Still, I didn’t know women’s bodies could move like that! Incredible dancing.

Lys Agnes. I don’t know how I feel about her. Each show she talks about how sad she’s been and how music helps her. Okay, I get that, but move on! Her song was bizarre. She sang Dream On while floating in a huge dreamcatcher. Her voice went from deep down low to super high. I didn’t like it. Neither did Sharon or Howie, but meany pants did.

Landon, my sweet Landon Swank. His act was slow at first, but then when you see what he’s doing you’re like, what? He just pulled a fish out of his mouth? Wait! He put it through a glass wall into the aquarium? How did he do that? The judges liked it and so did I.

Anna Graceman sang True Colors and I liked it, but wasn’t blown away by it. And her dress? It looked like someone went crazy with a roll of toilet paper. No, seriously. She’s usually super cute, but this time she was stilted. Once again, the judges agree with me. What’s going on here? Usually they hate my opinions.

Silhouettes had a cute piece about how some of the dancers are struggling with physical issues and it made me cry. To see them dance so beautifully you’d never guess they had chronic diseases. Sharon actually thanked them for giving us such beauty week after week. Yes, exactly. Meany pants called them the best performance of the night.

Smage Bros came out and rode motorcycles all around the stage, but it lacked the energy they had last week with Rad Grandma Smage. And poor Troy Smalls! He’s the guy they jump their bikes over and, well, let’s just say he lost a few brain cells and some skin off his leg tonight. Ouch! I did like it when he opened root beer bottles with the spinning wheels of the bike. Pretty cool.

Poplyfe took my breath away. This band rocks. Period. They have it all, stage presence, showmanship, the chops to sing greats like they did last week and tonight. They took on the Jackson 5! Oh, yes they did! And they rocked the house. I can’t wait for them to have an album because I’m buying it.

West Springfield Dance Team. Yawn. Seen it. Been there, bought the t-shirt, ready to go home. Piers buzzed them and for once, I’m not calling him meany pants because he was right to. They keep doing the same act each week. Yeah, okay, we get that you’re ‘horror’, but the same moves, the same whatever… step it up! Show us some versatility!!

Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. I swear to the White Rabbit, if you sing Sinatra again I’m going to slap you. Wait, what’s this? He’s singing Dean Martin? Well, okay then. Not! It’s the same frigging type of music. Show me some range. I’d love to see him take on Adele or Lady Gaga and make it his own with his sweet crooner voice. If I want to hear Dean or Sinatra, I’ll listen to the originals. Jus’ sayin. Dang, the judges love, love, love him. I’m outvoted.

Last up is Team iLuminate. Wow. They are so incredible, I’d buy a ticket to see them. Each week they do something different and I like that. My favorite was a few weeks ago when they performed a video game. That was awesome. Tonight they were just as fabulous and once again the judges are with me.

AGT Results:

First up: Smage Bros and Team iLuminate. This is a no-brainer. Yep, it’s Team iLuminate moving on!

Next: Miami All Stars and Lys Agnes. I told my son, I bet neither of them and I was right. They both got booted.

Third up is Poplyfe and my sweet Landon Swank. No, this can’t be happening! I love them both, but only one can go through. It’s Poplyfe moving on to the finals, but Sharon tells them, whoever is going home, this isn’t the end, but the beginning of their career. I truly hope so. I’d love to see Landon in a full show. He’s brilliant.

Then we have West Springfield Dance Team and Silhouettes. Hmmm, it better not be neither of them and I hope it’s Silhouettes, but that would only leave one place and two great singers are left. It’s Silhouettes moving on. Yay? Because that means…

It comes down to Landau Eugene Murphy Jr and Anna Graceman. They are both incredible, but only one spot is left. Last week Nick messed with Landau and so I know they won’t do that this week, but ??? Dang, sweet Anna is going home. Landau moves on to the finals. He is so gracious, he felt bad for the kids that didn’t make it. They all call him Uncle Dooney. Isnt’ that sweet? I kinda like him more now.

Did I mention we saw Howie Mandel naked? Yeah, my eyes are forever burned for the experience.

Next week I’ll have your winners! Check back.

Top Chef Just Desserts

This episode was bizarre. Not for the food, but because the guest judge is one of the housewives from Beverly Hills. One of the only reality shows I can’t watch because it gives me a nervous tick.

The other guest judge is Huge Acheson. If you watched Top Chef Masters, you know how funny this guy is. I’m super excited to see him on the show. Some of the cheftestants? Not so much. Orlando whined about it. Big surprise.

Quickfire challenge!

The chefs had to make these teeny tiny little desserts for the husband of the BH housewife. I don’t remember his name, oops. His little dog, Jiggy was cute, though.

The winner of the challenge won $25,000 and would be in the race to have their dessert made into chewing gum. Kind of bizarre, but whatever.

Of course chipmunk Craig wins with his little pancake with strawberries. Why can’t this guy just go home already? He bugs.

Wait? What’s this? A bromance is brewing between Chris and Matthew. Right on! They are two cuties and if they’ll get more air time for their bromance, I’m all for it.

The Elimination Challenge will be a team challenge and you know what that means. DRAMA! And they did not disappoint. Orlando, of course, whined about it.

Melissa is just plain pissed that she got picked last – again. Hey, maybe if you change your attitude and start being nice to people, they’ll pick you first. Just a suggestion.

So the teams make desserts and put together a pretty tablescape made mostly of pink, since that’s Lisa Vanderpump’s favorite color. Hey! I wrote down her name this time. Yay me. Lisa and some of her BH friends check out the tables and sample everyone’s desserts. I so wish I could be a judge for this show. They all looked yummy and simply scrumptious.

I’m not going to lie, when the chefs describe their food, I have no idea what they’re saying. Gelees and glaces, foams and what? I’d be like, it’s good, just eat it. You don’t need to know what’s in it. And I’d probably be sent home first. Ah, well.

The judges thought Craig’s team’s table was prettier, but Chris’ team’s table was more refined. Wait a minute, they keep saying Chris’ team, but really it was Amanda’s team. Oops.

Chris/Amanda’s team wins the challenge. Hooray! Now maybe Craig will go home. Or whiney Orlando.

What? the judges sent home Nelson? Who’s Nelson? Is he even on the show? I guess so because they sent him packing, but not before telling Craig he was damn lucky to have immunity or he’d be sent packing. Stupid immunity.

Project Runway

Sorry kids, I don’t have an update for PR this week because we lost power for most of the day and night here in San Diego. Apparently the DVR won’t record by osmosis, so I have to wait to watch the episode. I did see who got Auf’d, but I’m not telling!

Here are a few Honorable Mentions I caught last weekend:

Millionaire Matchmaker. That Patti is hilarious! She just says what she wants (which is usually what everyone else is thinking, but has the manners not to say). She scares me. I’ll only watch this show again if there’s nothing, and I mean nothing else on. I’d rather watch Hillbilly Handfishin’ before this.

Big Sexy. Five young women of larger proportions are trying to make their mark in New York City. Good for them! I liked the show, but thought the girls were hypocritical in their stance that they like being big, but then would whine that men don’t love them because they’re big. One girl’s ex boyfriend told her no, it’s because you’re a stalker. Loved that! If the show happens to be on, then I might catch it. But, Meh.

All American Handyman. I’m a sucker for a show that challenges it’s competitors to be amazing. This show did not disappoint. On the first challenge, Mike Holmes (Love him!) tells the contestants to make something with a sheet of plywood. I’m still trying to think of what I’d make and it’s been a week. They had two hours and some of the stuff they made was incredible. I’m definitely going to check out this show again.

The Great Food Truck Race stressed me out. I mean, they drive all over the US making food in these tight quarters and have to outsell their competitors. You’d like I would love this show, but I need a drink beforehand to keep me calm. I’ll watch it if it’s on, but I won’t seek it out.

My friend told me to check out Dance Moms, so I’ll give that show a shot. Next week America’s Next Top Model starts and I’m super excited for that! I’ll also be DVR’ing Dancing With the Stars because it looks like it will be feisty this season.

Thanks for getting through this beast of a post. Let me know what shows you’re watching this week and if there are any I need to check out. I’m always on the prowl for new guilty pleasures!