Tag Archives: Reality television

Pain Meds Can Be Funny

Maybe the title of this blog post should be, ‘Never take a sales call when you’re goofed up on meds’, but that’s too long.

That’s exactly what I did and the result led to one of the funniest experiences I’ve had in a long, long time. Something I wouldn’t have done without being goofed up on pain meds.

You’re probably wondering why I was on pain meds, let me assure you it was nothing terrible or nefarious, just a bit of laser surgery to remove an old tattoo I’m no longer in love with. That’s a whole other blog post, though. ;)

So Andy, a sweet guy from The Old Globe Theater calls me one night and asks if I’d like to get season tickets for the Globe. Every summer my friend Laura and I go see a Shakespeare play so I thought, sure! Actually, the pain meds thought it was a grand idea, the sensible part of me that doesn’t make snap decisions involving money was saying, ‘nooooooo!’. The pain meds won and I ignored boring old sensible me.

Part of the season ticket package was a play called, ‘Nobody Loves You’. A musical comedy about a reality show. Yes, you read that right. A musical comedy about a reality TV show.

What’s not to love about that, right? If you think I love trashy TV, you haven’t met my friend Laura. She’s addicted to everything from The Bachelor to The Real Housewives of Everywhere. So I knew she’d be excited for the play.

Sunday rolls along and off we go to Balboa Park to see our play. Except we sort of forgot it was Memorial Weekend and half the city wanted to be exactly where we were. We ended up parking a mile away with only ten minutes to go before final curtain call. Wouldn’t you know, this was the day I chose to wear my cute, strappy little sandals.

Ignoring the blisters forming on my feet (they are hideous!), we made it to the Will Call window just in time. Yay! There was a bit of a mix up at the box office about what day we were supposed to attend ~ they thought Saturday and I insisted it was Sunday. In truth, I was goofed up on pain meds, it might’ve been Saturday. Still, there was a moment of panic when I thought perhaps my ungraceful loping from the car to the theater might’ve been for naught.

Then a super sweet guy told us there was plenty of room, go right in. Thank you charming man with the headset!

The first thing you should know about the theater is that it’s small. We’re talking minimalist stage props on a twenty foot diameter stage with seven rows of seats. Let’s say it’s cozy.

The next thing you need to know is that Laura and I were clearly the youngest attendees. Well, except for the one teenage boy who was mortified for half the show and kept hiding his face. He was adorable and we couldn’t help but laugh at his expressions.

Lastly, you must understand that this is a musical comedy about a young man who, in an attempt to win back his girlfriend, goes on a ‘dating’ type show. Having a working knowledge of social media and the various sub-genres of reality shows is essential. The play basically makes fun of all reality shows. In song!

I’m sure by now you’ve all figured out why this was one of the funniest experiences of my life. The play was a riot. I highly recommend if this play comes to your town, run to see it!

Added to the hilarity of the play was the fact that half the time it was ONLY Laura and I laughing at the jokes. Did I mention we laugh really loud? I think I gave the poor guy next to me several mini heart attacks. Sorry sweet old dude sitting beside me!

The cast loved us. They would seriously look at us and wait until we finished laughing. Laura and I thought the only thing that would’ve made the play better was if it could be interactive. More audience participation would’ve rocked.

I guess the whole point of this post is that I took a chance on something I normally would’ve said no to, and from that I got a truly amazing experience. Sometimes, you just gotta get goofed up on pain meds to quiet the sensible voice in your head! Okay, not really but there are times when it pays to take a risk.

Have you ever had an amazing experience that might not have happened if you didn’t step out of your comfort zone? Please share with us!

Here’s a brief video that encapsulates some of the show, but really it’s way better live with the actors right there in front of you. Enjoy!

Knights of Mayhem? Yes please! Trashy TV Recap.

So, I’m trolling the channels looking for something to watch when this commercial comes on… it shows hunky men on horseback wearing full armor and jousting! You heard me right, there is a new reality show about modern day jousting. Problem is, I don’t get National Geographic channel, but you can bet your biscuits I’m calling today to hook me up! The series starts Tuesday, I can’t wait.

Is it hot in here, or is it just the jousting? Sorry, back to our regularly scheduled shows…

This week on Top Chef the last group of chefs had to compete for their spot on the show. Four chefs from last week were in the stew room, stewing. Boy, were they tired of stewing, too.

Finally the last group enters the kitchen and is told to pick one ingredient from the table and make a fabulous dish with it. Okay, most of the chefs are happy with their choices, except for the girl who had to ‘rock, paper, scissors’ for hers and she lost, leaving her with oxtail. Eww. If you’re a fan of oxtail, my apologies if I’ve offended you, but ewww.

There’s a catch – each ingredient has a time allotted to it. So, if you got brussels sprouts, you have 20 minutes, but oxtail girl had 60. Seems fair enough to me.

On with the cooking!

After a lot of rushing around and complaining that Chef Tom is in the kitchen, wasting their valuable cooking time, the 20 minute group is set to serve.

I think all the 20 minute peeps were thrown out. On to the next group.

Poor Tom, he had to send home someone he knows personally. She’s a good chef, he says, but the dish she put in front of them was inferior and he knew she could do better, but he had to judge on just that dish.

Harsh.

Poor Chaz didn’t even get to plate his dish of risotto, so he’s booted.

The 60 minute peeps serve their dishes. Are you noticing a theme here? Not really much recapping going on, is there? That’s because the show was mildly lackluster during this part.

BUT, then it’s time for the stew room crew. By now there are 6 chefs left who have to cook again for the last 2 spots left on the show.

I don’t have clear favorites at this point and honestly, with the cook off last week and then this week, I really don’t remember who is on the show yet or not. This splitting them up is giving me a headache.

Right. So the last group has to cook whatever they want. This is harder than you’d think, apparently. Without a boundary, the chef’s minds can go anywhere.

OMG! Edward cuts his finger and totally bleeds everywhere. It’s gross, but he keeps his hand far from the food while the medic is trying to clean and bandage him. That’s pretty badass. I have my first favorite. Let’s hope Edward survives this round and is on the show.

What do you know? Edward cooks awesome, even with only one hand, and he’s in!

It comes down to Grayson (I love that name and am totally swiping it for a character) and this other girl. My friend Gayle is rooting for the other girl, but I like Grayson.

Grayson’s in! Yay! Now I have two favorites on the show. It’s so much more fun when you have someone to cheer for, don’t you think?

Okay, the chefs are all picked and now we know who will be on the show. Oh snap! There’s a sneaky bit at the end where they tell you the last two chefs booted will actually have a chance to reenter the competition.

I can almost hear Gayle doing her happy dance!

It’s called ‘Last Chance Kitchen’ and it’s going to be aired online each week after the show. Andrew and Janine are the two competing. I guess I’ll have to catch that each week because, like you, I want to know who’s coming back!

America’s Next Top Model took the girls to Greece this week. Dang, Greece is gorgeous! I must put that on my bucket list.

Immediately upon arriving (in TV time, that is. They could’ve been there a day and we wouldn’t know, but those girls sure did look fresh for having just been on an international flight), the girls were told they would give a short speech to some dignitaries on the island of Crete. They had to use a few Greek words and say why they were excited to be there. Um, okay. I get it. They are trying to get the girls to be more well-rounded as correspondents. Still, I think it’s weird.

Most of the girls do well in the challenge. Lisa looks like a streetwalker in a teeny tiny top and even smaller skirt. Seriously, it barely covered her bum. A few of the girls thought they were speaking Greek when really it was Spanish. Bano? Really Angelea?

I’ll bet no one saw this coming ~ Allison won the challenge! She was poised, used a ton of Greek words, and spoke about the mythos of Crete and Greece. Well done!

Finally! I’ve been waiting for this challenge all season and it’s finally here… an underwear shoot. Why am I so excited? Because Shannon has been so weird all season about not wearing underwear. She believes (and I think this is pretty cool on her part) that wearing underwear is something she should do only for her husband. That’s great, but don’t wear a bathing suit that actually shows more of you and say it’s okay. She’s done that several times over the season and it’s a case of semantics. They went to great lengths to pick underwear for Shannon that didn’t reveal anything and really did look like a swimsuit, but still she refused.

So, Shannon didn’t do the photo shoot. That doesn’t automatically mean she’s booted, bummer.

Poor Laura is super sick for the photo shoot, but she’s a trouper and doesn’t complain. For the shoot the girls had to be in a salad bowl with cucumbers, tomatoes, feta cheese and dressing. A typical Greek salad. Seriously? Eww. Then again, I bet their skin was super soft afterward!

Dominique wins the photo challenge ~ dang, she really did look good in that salad!

The bottom two are Laura (not my sweet Laura! She was sick, please let her stay!) and Shannon.

I was pretty much yelling at the TV at this point. If they sent Laura home, after she sucked it up and did what she could even being so sick, then I was going to be sooooo mad.

Whew! The judges sent home Shannon. Yay!

The competition is getting intense. Only five are left and I have no idea who will win.

And our last recap is Next Iron Chef Super Chefs

The chefs were sent to San Diego! Whoohooo! Let’s hear it for my hometown!

They went to Petco Park, which is where the Padres play. Nope, I’ve never been there, but if you look in the background at some of the tall buildings, that’s the convention center where I go to Comic-Con each year. It’s kind of like going to Petco Park. Yeah, not really.

The chefs have to make a fancy ball park meal with only the ingredients found at the park. Well, food certainly has changed at ballparks since I last went. Those chefs had amazing ingredients to choose from!

The chefs made fantastic dishes, but honestly, I was so distracted from the hideous outfit Alton Brown wore that it’s all a fuzzy memory right now. Really, how did he pick that outfit and why was he allowed in our fair city wearing it? That’s him on the right, checking his watch. I wish I could grab a pic of him front facing, but this was the best Foodnetwork gave me.

Right, so now it’s back to Iron Chef stadium for the winner.

What?

Alex wins!

She’s totally stunned and stoked that she doesn’t have to face off against another chef.

Who does?

My sweet Robert Irving and Michael Chiarello. Dang. I like both of them, so this isn’t going to end well for me.

The secret ingredient is: Peanuts!

Both chefs cook their hearts out and in the end it comes down to one teeny tiny flaw in Robert’s dish that sends him home. Dang. I really like him and will miss him.

All of the chefs are my favorites for this show, so each week will be difficult to watch. Ah, well, that’s they way it goes in Trashy TV Land!

Until next week, sweet friends.

What have you been watching?

Here We Go ~ Trashy TV Recap!

So this week I had a little surprise waiting for me in my DVR inbox.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team

Oh, yeah! I stumbled upon this show in the first season and fell in love. I don’t know why. I was sort of a cheerleader in 7th grade, I don’t dance, and I’m not much of a football fan, but I love, love, love watching this series. It’s on CMT (that’s the country music channel, which makes me wonder how the heck I ever stumbled upon the show to begin with! Must’ve been a really slooooooow day), Thursdays at 10pm.

This week two of my shows ended, which makes me wonder what I’m going to replace them with. I suppose it’ll have to be the cheerleaders, but I don’t know. Got any suggestions?

Top Chef: Just Desserts

This was the first show this week to have their finale. My friend, humor writer Gayle Carline had this to say on facebook:

“Gayle Carline is watching Top Chef Just Desserts. No one is failing or fighting or bursting into flame. As a matter of fact, it’s kind of a boring episode for the finale.”

Um, yeah. The chefs had to make a showpiece, some bread, an entremets (that’s a fancy word for … cake), and a bon bon. Are you thinking the same thing I am? *cue the music and let’s all sway our hips to Ricky Martin’s ‘Shake your bon bons’. Ooooh, yeah, I hummed this song for the rest of the episode. Much to my son’s dismay. Apparently he does not appreciate the finer points of music. Whatever.

Back to the show! I forgot to mention that these really big deal pastry chefs got to help the finalists. They’re all MOF’s, which doesn’t stand for what I thought it did. It mean’s they’re really, really good at what they do. All the chefs were peeing their pants over the MOF’s. (yeah, it makes me giggle a little bit, too. Shake your bon bon while saying MOF!) See Gayle? We make our own excitement here at Etherton House.

Guess what?! All the chefs get to choose TWO former contestants to help them as sous chefs. Oooooh, I wonder if anyone will pick the squirrel disguised as a human – Craig.

Naw, he didn’t get picked, but Sally totally won the sous chef jackpot with Orlando. Guess what he excels at? Show pieces! Guess what Sally sucks at? Show pieces! It’s almost like that was planned…

So, the chefs get to it, making dessert and trying not to freak out. Orlando basically makes Sally’s entire show piece and I’m thinking that’s not such a good idea. Matthew wants to push the limit and tries sugar work. For the first time in his career. Um, are you delirious? Stick to what you know!

Chris makes an amazing show piece – all by himself. Orlando, newly reformed and now sweet as pie, he admits that he didn’t want to work with anyone, but realized he had to ‘man up’ (his words) and help. He lost his chance at the title, so he had to do the right thing. Awww. Sniff, sniff. I love Orlando. Sort of.

Judging!

There are, like, a hundred judges for this challenge so I won’t name them all. They are big names in the industry, that’s all you really need to know. Actually, you don’t even need to know that. What you do need to know is that all of the show pieces look amazing and if I had to eat all those desserts there would be nothing left on all those tables. It might cost me one hundred marbles, but they looked so good!

Everyone rocked it. The judges have a hard time picking each dessert apart and critiquing such amazing work.

Chris wins! Yay! Confetti, balloons, champagne! I’m totally psyched he won. He had the mad pastry skillz and the best show piece. Yay!

America’s Next Top Model

Ok Gayle, you want fireworks and drama? Watch ANTM! Whew, these girls just get more and more crazy and the week’s go on.

Of course the show starts with Lisa missing Bre and dissing Bianca. Then, Alexandria and Bianca get into a fight over the shower. What? Grow up, ladies!

Last week Jay told Shannon she needs to be ‘edgy’ and, of course, Shannon thinks that means raunchy. Um, no. It means edgy.

The girls go to the rooftop of the Roosevelt Hotel, an iconic place in Hollywood (I’ve been in the hotel, never on the roof. Darn). Their challenge is to come up with a fragrance and then they’ll have to promote it to their fans. What this has to do with modeling, not really sure, but let’s just go with it.

The girls take their time (Alexandria a little too much time) and pick 3 fragrances to blend into their ‘signature’ scent. Allison calls hers, ‘Honey Blood’. Now, I ask you my beloved readers, would you wear a perfume called Honey Blood?

So, in keeping with her, I’m such a sweet, innocent, girl routine, Shannon wants her perfume to be, angelic, pure, and smitten. Huh? I thought smitten was when you were kind of lusting after someone.

Lisa had the best quote of the night, “I don’t know what Shannon is selling, but I know she’s selling herself short.” Okay, Lisa isn’t my favorite, but at least she’s honest.

SO. The girls have to get into a bathtub (with water and rose petals), to sell their fragrance to their fans. Bianca is having none of that. She says Tyra would never get into a tub, that she wants to be treated like a professional, she’s a lady and wants respect.

Um, you’re on a Reality TV show. For the second time. You sort of checked ‘respect’ off the list before you showed up. Seriously.

Not only that, but Tyra is the one who probably thought of the tub and you should probably get in it.  Nope. Bianca isn’t listening to me and my fabulous advice. She refuses to get into the tub. Heck, even Nigel got in the tub!

At judging Bianca is all ready to defend her position and says that Beyonce (just pretend there’s an accent over the e, I can’t figure out how to do it) or Rhianna would never do something like that and Tyra tells her, but you’re not Beyonce. Take that Bianca!

What else did Tyra tell her? Get in the dang tub! Love Tyra.

Wait, back to the challenge. Lisa wins the perfume challenge.

The girls have to do a photo shoot on a Harley while portraying either Nene or Snooki.

Shannon only has one pose, Bianca makes love to a pickle (well, it looked a bit strange) and Alexandria looked a bit wooden.

Lisa won the photo shoot challenge. She’s on fire this week!

Two girls go home – Bianca (no surprise there!) and Kayla. Aww, I love Kayla. Shannon was on the chopping block, but she got to stay. Dang it.

I would post pictures, but the CW site is messed up today. Sorry about that.

Project Runway

Arrgh! What’s up with all the websites today? Now PR isn’t letting me have pictures either. Well, you’re just going to have to imagine what I’m talking about and then go check out the websites for photos. Again, sorry.

The show starts with Tim giving each designer $500 and 30 minutes at Mood. Anya totally changes her looks while she’s at Mood. Procrastinate much?

Josh also gets new fabric. A gorgeous bright green colored something that he makes shorts out of, but I think they look like slime panties. With ties over the thigh. Yikes.

Viktor also changes things up and ditches the gorgeous flowy dress the judges loved last week. Why, Viktor, why??? For the love of Pete and all that is good in cheese, why?

Kimberly only makes a few changes, and tweaks. Good call.

Poor Josh, he’s all over the place. Viktor gives him a pep talk, Anya gives him a pep talk, I’m sure the mannequins gave him a pep talk. Pull it together, man! You’ve got a runway show to put on.

Now, I like Anya as a person, but I’m bored by her fashion. What I’m also bored with is her penchant for showing her boobies. Really. Every outfit she wears is open at the chest and flows down to her navel. I don’t even know if she owns a bra. Yes, she has very nice boobies, but really, I don’t need to see them all the time.

Runway day!

Kimberly’s line is sparkly and colorful. Like a Barbie doll’s closet.

Joshua’s line is very colorful, too. More like gay Ken doll’s closet.

Viktor’s line is sophisticated and yet edgy. Shannon needs to check out Viktor to understand edgy does not mean raunchy.

Anya’s line is very flowy with lots and lots of boobies almost showing. Big surprise there. It looks like Anya made a closet full of clothes for herself. 8 of the 10 dresses have plunging necklines. We’re talking straight down to the, well, you know where I mean.

Judging!

Kimberly listened to all the critiques and grew as a designer. Her looks were urban cool. Michael Kors thought she had great clothes, but not a great collection. Nina thinks she is ‘almost there’, but not ready yet to be an independent designer.

Joshua was focused with gorgeous tailoring, fun prints and the best styling. He has loads of ideas and is probably ready for the big time.

Viktor got a little lost with too much of the black sheer looks. He should’ve stayed with the super cool prints he made (um, like the dress he ditched at the last minute).

Anya needs more variety and to think of other women when designing. She’s a little one note, but has taste and style.

So who wins?

Anya. Ugh. I don’t think the judges got it right this time either. Bummer.

Well, there you have it. This week’s recap in a minute. ; )

I need new shows, tell me what you want to read about or I might have to start watching ‘Call of the Wildman’.

Check out the video and you’ll know why I shudder to think you’d do that to me!

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/call-of-the-wildman/

Fantasy Friday with your Trashy TV Recap!

Mad Fashion

You know how a few weeks ago I said I’d give Chris March a second date? Well, I’m totally smitten. I don’t know if it’s his laugh, or his larger-than-life personality, but I’m definitely loving his show, Mad Fashion. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do! It’s on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10PM.

This week Chris got a call from Jennifer Coolidge. She’s one of my favorite actresses because she can play dumb brilliantly. Love, love, loved her in Legally Blonde! You just bend, and snap! Ugh. Love.

Anyway, so Jennifer is, like, the queen of some float for Mardi Gras and thought she could just wing it. When she realized she needed something fabulous, she called Chris. Get this – she gives him three days to make a costume for her! Why do these clients always wait until the last minute? Sure, Chris is brilliant and can whip up extreme fashion in nothing flat, but jeez. It’s like he’s still on Project Runway, but with a bigger budget and no Tim Gunn saying, ‘Make it work’. Poor Chris!

Jennifer wants something with, maybe, ‘Rockets in the breast’. O.M.G. That woman is hilarious!

Long story short – Chris makes it work and they get to New Orleans the day before the parade to finish everything up.

THIS is the final product.

What did Jennifer say when she had it all put on?

“I so want to stop at 7/11 and get some gum.”

Hilarious! Okay, so there weren’t any rockets from the breasts, but she looked amazing.

Just another day in the life of Chris March and his Mad Fashion team. Whew!

Rachel Zoe had her baby (so cute!), Rodger bought her an outrageous 10 Karat diamond ring as a ‘push present’, Joey & Mandana were mean and catty about Jeremiah, who was kind enough to come back and decorate the baby’s room. Even though they ditched him to go to the hospital to be with Rachel. Whatever. I’m out of love with this show. Moving on.

Top Chef Just Desserts

This week the cheftestants got right into the elimination challenge. No quick fire, no warm up, bam! Straight to the challenge. Which was to create a dessert that looks like a savory dish from a country that they choose.

Chris gets France, Orlando Spain, Matthew Italy, and Sally chooses Cuba. Cuba? Really? Um, okay then. Good luck with that.

When they start their cooking, all of the chefs are freaking out a little except Matthew. He knew exactly what he wanted to make and never wavered. His pick? Manicotti.

Dude, it’s Italy, you can do so much more! Oh, well.

When Johnny comes for his little visit/pep talk, Chris tells him he’s making Beef Wellington. Um, isn’t that a British dish? Apparently Chris doesn’t know the history of his dish – it was named after the Duke of Wellington (an English dude). Buuuuut, since it was named for him after he defeated Napoleon, and there is actually a French dish similar – Filet en croute, Johnny let’s it slide. Hmmm.

Orlando decides to make paella and it’s a little embarrassing how much he’s sucking up to Johnny. In the past, he’s butted heads with the judge, but on that day, Orlando saw the wisdom of everything Johnny said. Really? No, seriously, what happened to whiney, snarky Orlando? Who’s this timid little thing making paella? I miss Orlando!

Sally spends way too much time freaking out about her dish and thinks she’ll make two and pick the best one, but Johnny calms her down and she settles for a Cuban sandwich. Whew! Now she can start cooking (it’s only taken, like, an hour for her to decide on this. Yes, an hour.)

Right. So after we get some sob stories, Sally was a rowdy teenager, but totally appreciates everything her mom’s done for her. Orlando was shunned by his family when he came out, etc. we get back to the real excitement. Cooking.

Judging:

Chris told Johnny he wouldn’t use puff pastry, but guess what’s on his beef? Yep, store bought puff pastry. Lazy boy didn’t even make his own! That could be the one thing that sends him home.

Matthew told Johnny he’d use tomatoes in his dish, but changes his mind and only uses jelly. Hmmm, that could be the thing that sends him home. Silly boys. Never make last minute changes!

Cat Cora is the guest judge and Orlando is all giddy over her. She’s his favorite chef and he almost pee’s himself when he presents his dish to her. Yep. Orlando has left the building. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s a pale comparison to the original Orlando. Jus’ sayin’.

The judges argue back and forth over tiny little flaws in everyone’s dish. Orlando’s rice is mushy, Sally’s mousse is too messy, Matthew wasn’t creative enough, and that dreaded puff pastry for Chris.

Who stays for the finale and who goes home?

Sally wins!

Orlando goes home!

Wow. That kind of shocked me a little. I thought for sure Matthew was going home, but the judges really hated Orlando’s rice. And in front of Cat Cora, too. Poor Orlando.

I was really hoping for a Chris/Orlando showdown at the finale. Oh, well. We’ll see next week who is Top Chef!

America’s Next Top Model

Let me just say before we begin. I had no idea who Coca Rocha was before this show, but I’m so smitten with her! She’s gorgeous. Truly. Love.

Backup, so the show starts with the girls having a football challenge. All the eliminated girls are brought back to be on teams with the remaining girls.

Each team gets two professional football players. What?!?

Yep. The winning team will get $5000 for the football player’s charities. Super cool. The winning model gets jewelry. Huh.

It’s not just a football game, it’s also a photo challenge. Each girl has to pose with the football players at certain times throughout the game. Yikes. That makes my head swim, I can only imagine how the girls feel. Are we modeling or playing football? Both!

Kayla wins the photo challenge and gets to be on Tyra’s website for something. I forget because I was too busy looking at her pretty sparkly jewelry. Yep, I’m easily distracted by sparkly things.

The real photo challenge of the week is a bitch fight with Coco Rocha. She’s a supermodel who is known for her posing skills. She works her angles, baby! Okay, so I don’t really know what that means, but they kept saying it, so I thought I’d throw it in here. I think it means she can make weird faces look pretty.

You can’t really see her gorgeous face here, but she was amazing with all the girls. They were pulling her hair, her clothes, everything and she just kept on modeling.

There was a moment when Angelea was doubting herself and Mr. Jay had to give her a pep talk. I’m going to include what he told her here because it hit me that this is what so many of us writers are doing. We’re “struggling with a sense of self and whether we’re worthy enough.” Yeah, we are.

Anytime you put something out there, whether it’s writing or modeling, you’re exposed to judgments and that can be harsh.

Well, Angelea pulled herself together and rocked the rest of the photo shoot. Not well enough to get top photo, but she was close.

Best photo this week went to Dominique. I don’t know why, but the judges loved it. Meh.

The bottom two were Bre and Alexandria. Tyra told the girls that they both are only showing a smidgen of the power they had in their original cycles. Hmm. Bre and Alexandria thought they were super powerful and would take the top photo spot. Ooops.

Bre was eliminated and instead of waiting patiently to hug Tyra and the other girls, she just left the room. It was awkward and strange. I thought Bre had more class than that.

Oh, well. Buh-bye Bre!

Project Runway

This week is Part One of the Finale! All of the designers go home to make their ten piece collection. As always, Tim Gunn visits each designer to check on their progress.

First up, Kimberly.

Tim likes thinks she needs to take more risks and wow the judges.

Next, Tim goes to Trinidad to see Anya’s collection.

Well, Anya has some pretty fabric, but nothing constructed yet. Um, you only have a few weeks, girlfriend! Get sewing!!

Viktor has amazing clothes that totally wow Tim, but he warns Viktor not to over think his designs. To let his visceral dictate. What the hell does that mean?

To be more base or crude? To follow his instinct more? I thought that’s what he was doing. I sure hope Viktor gets what Tim means!

On to Joshua. Poor, poor Joshy. Tim hates all of his fabrics, even saying that one of them makes him sad and want to weep. He wants to know what happened? Where’s the sex?

Oh. My. Heck.

I love Tim Gunn so much! He’s a total crack up in a suit. Love.

Once all the designers get back to New York (in an amazing penthouse suite!!), Tim tells them they have to show three looks and one of them is going to get booted.

All of the designers, except Viktor, freak out. Viktor is totally done with his collection, but the other three are still sewing, still designing. Um, wasn’t that what all that time at home was for? Duh.

On the runway Viktor’s looks are amazing. Kimberly’s are, um, cheap? Trashy? Ick. I don’t like them at all, which is strange since I usually like her designs. Joshua’s look very cool and Anya’s are ho-hum.

The judges basically rip all the collections apart and give out just as many compliments to each designer. You really have no idea who is going to go home, but are pretty sure it’s going to be one of the girls. Even the girls think it’s going to be one of them.

Well, those stinky judges tell Joshua he’s in, then Viktor, then Kimberly. Which leaves Anya standing alone on the runway. Poor Anya. (okay, secretly I’m ecstatic at this point. Anya needs to go home! Her collection was boooooooring.) Wait a minute. Did Heidi just tell Anya she’s in as well? Damn. Yep, all four of the designers will show their collection at Fashion Week.

If they pull another Mondo on me, I’ll be so mad! Viktor is clearly the most talented, but Anya has been a favorite the whole show. We’ll see what happens next week. Ugh!

Until then, here are the designers three runway looks. Which is your favorite? Who do you want to win?

 

Trashy TV Recap ~ TCJD, ANTM, Project Runway, & more.

This week was crazy! Not just in Trashy TV Land, but life in general. Still, my life is no where near as nuts a those women on the Real Housewives shows.

I happened to catch a New Jersey episode and daaaaaang, those women are fiesty! They scare me more than Patti Stangler.

Know who else is fiesty? Robert Irvine. He used to be on Dinner: Impossible, now he’s got a show called Restaurant: Impossible where he has two days to turn a restaurant around. Menu, decor, staff, everything. It’s a cool show – if you like to be stressed out! Robert yells at people. A lot. In the end, the restaurant turns out great and everyone is happy. I want to see a show where they revisit these places. Do the owners keep all his ideas? Hmmm.

Speaking of revisiting failing businesses, I checked out Tabatha’s Salon Takeover. It was the episode where she goes back to several salons to see if they are behaving themselves. Most of them were, but some had gone back to their old ways. Poor Tabatha almost had to take the keys yet again. After promises to change, she left them alone. For now.

I think we should have a showdown of Tabatha, Michael Kors, and Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker to see who has the crazier quotes. Honestly, I don’t know who would win!

This week on Top Chef Just Desserts, Jordan Kahn was the guest judge for the quickfire elimination. Now, usually the QF judge sticks around, but they booted him quicker than you could say ‘pastry’. He’s a cutie, so he gets his pic here:

Now, why couldn’t they keep him around? Oh, well, at least we still have Johnny.

Back to the QF.

Can you hear the whining from the chefs? Yeah, they weren’t happy that the QF was to create a savory dessert with a root vegetable. Apparently Mr. Kahn is quite skilled at working savory into his desserts and the chefs had to please him.

Have I mentioned that Rebekah is an idiot? Yeah, she is. While Jordan is tasting her potato dessert thing, she tells Jordan and Gail that she can’t cook. Um, you’re on a cooking show, dummy! Gail pretty much told her that was the stupidest thing to say on national TV. You think?

Sally wins the QF with a turmeric dish. Yay! I like Sally. She can cook.

For the elimination challenge, the guest judge will be – – – Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys! Ah, he’s still super cute. Not as cute as Jordan or Johnny, but enough that he gets a pic.

The cheftestants have to make a dessert from the Beastie Boys pantry. Um, ewww. The ingredients are things like ravioli, pork and beans, brass monkey (that funky monkey), etc.

I seriously worry for the chefs on this challenge. And the judges who have to eat the creations. This is probably the one time I’m happy I’m not a judge.

Sabotage!

The chefs have to give one item to another chef – oh, now this is going to be interesting. The initial ingredients were pretty bad, but to have someone give you something you didn’t choose? Poor chefs!

I love it when they show the chefs at home relaxing and this week we are treated to a sweet moment where Chris tells us about his little baby girl. She’s only a month old and was born with congenital heart defect. She’s adorable and now I want him to win more than I did before! Yeah, okay, now they have to show us Matt’s kid, who is super cute, but Chris had me at heart defect.

Back to the show. At the brewery where the chefs will serve their monstrosities, I mean desserts, Marcel shows up. I love Marcel. Loved him in his season and on All Stars. He is a good friend of Sally’s and went to give her support. And to taste the other desserts and get a banana put on his shoulder. Apparently there’s a game where they put a banana on someone to see if they notice. Marcel did not notice. The big prize is to banana Johnny, but so far no one’s been able to. Because Johnny’s awesome, that’s why!

At the Judge’s Table, Katsie, Rebekah, and Megan are called in first. Naturally everyone assumes they are the winners, but NO! They are the losers. Whew! I almost had to turn off the TV.

The top three are: Matthew, Chris, and Sally. Yay! My three favorites are where they belong.

Matthew wins because he, as Ad Rock says, ‘Freaked it’ on the foam gravy. You read that right – Matthew had to put gravy in his dessert and he foamed it, making it delicious. Um, I’ll take their word for it. Ew.

Rebekah goes home, but not before making an a$$ of herself with Ad Rock. Whatever, she’s gone. Yay!

Next week is going to be intense. Orlando and Chris go head-to-head with chocolate sculptures. There’s a history between these two and I’ll share it all with you next week.

America’s Next Top Model, or perhaps we should rename the show, America’s Next Train Wreck. Seriously, didn’t these girls learn anything the first time around?

Kristin Cavallari visits the house to, um, I’m not quite sure. She gives them advice on how to make a career out of their reality TV stint. Am I living in a cave? Who is Kristin Cavallari? Maybe I should ask my 12 year-old niece, she might know.

The girls have a team challenge where they have an interview with Mario Lopez. Here’s the deal – whatever team wins will have immunity. The entire team. Whoa, that’s huge!

Team 1 – Angelea, Lisa, Alexandria, Isis, Laura, and Dominique are up first. Lisa is a spaz and keeps high-fiving people. Stop it! Then she totally talks over Alexandria. Not good.

Team 2 – Shannon, Bre, Bianca, Kayla, Camille, and Allison are up next. Allison gives great answers and steals the show. She’s the overall winner and her team is safe from elimination.

The photo shoot challenge puts the girls on stilts. Hey! Can you hear the whining again? This time it’s Bre or maybe Bianca, I keep getting them confused. She has a huge fear of heights. Um, Bre/Bianca sweetie, you’re like, ten feet up and you have a harness to keep you from falling. Get over yourself. Kthxbai.

 

Some of the girls rock it – Lisa, Alexandria, Allison, but most are lackluster at best.

Allison wins the challenge because she had a great ‘booty tooch’. You read that right. Apparently, that girl knows how to pop out her booty in just the right way. I’m going to practice my booty tooch later. Oh, yes I am!

See that? How she just pops it out there?

And see how Angelea’s booty is kinda flat? Girl ain’t got no booty tooch!

Poor Isis fell flat this week and she went home. I love Isis, but she wasn’t one of my favorites to win. I don’t know if I have a favorite yet. Hmmm, I must ponder this awhile.

While I’m pondering, let’s check out Project Runway.

The challenge this week is to come up with a Sophisticated 70’s look. Um, isn’t that an oxymoron? I mean, seriously. I remember the 70’s. We really don’t need to go back there! How about 80’s? I could get behind an 80’s challenge!

Whatever. They want 70’s. You know Bert is going to rock this challenge. He was young and hip during that era.

The designers head off to Mood and poor Anya loses her money. I’m sure those producers know where it went, but no one found it. Only Anthony Ryan had money left over, so she had to make $11.50 work. Yikes!

Back in the workroom, Josh is having a hard time wrapping his head around the 70’s idea. His excuse? He wasn’t born in the 70’s so how would he know it? Um, research you dodo! Any designer worth their talent knows to research past fashions.

What does he do? Copies Viktor. Yeah, I know. What a sleazebag. All the love I started to feel for him last week is now gone.

Everyone is having a problem with this challenge and then Tim comes in to say they have to make another look. What! Off to Mood they go and this time Anya does not lose her money. Whew!

Laura can’t believe what Bert is making, but I kind of love it. He’s got this cool retro vibe going, but it’s sexy, too.

It’s the one on the left. The middle dress is his second look. Blah.

What do the judges think?

They all love Bert’s little dress! I officially know nothing about fashion. It looks like my cat could whip it up in an afternoon after a nap and a good hairball hacking.

Whatever.

They also love Viktor and Anya’s looks.

Why are the judges so in love with Anya? I thought her looks were okay, but nothing spectacular.

What do you think?

Heidi and Nina went nuts for the jumpsuit on the left. Huh?

I have pajamas cuter than that!

Now we know who they love, who do the judges not love so much?

Anthony Ryan, Joshua, and Laura all score low marks. Joshua gets a little pissy on the runway, arguing with the judges why his looks are amazing and other’s  aren’t so much.

That man has some huge huevos!

In the end, the judges are not impressed with him, but send home Anythony Ryan. Aww, he was one of my favorites. I just love his bright spirit and humor. I’ll miss Anthony Ryan.

So who won? Anya. Blech. She gets to have her pajamas, I mean jumpsuit produced and sold on Piperlime.com. Bert will also get his little dress made for Piperlime as well.

I totally would have bought that flowy shirtdress thing he made, but not that little slip of fabric. Oh, well.

What were your favorite fashions from the 70’s? Do you think designers should bring back old styles in new and sophisticated ways? Is there truly nothing new out there and recycling is just the way it is?