You know how a few weeks ago I said I’d give Chris March a second date? Well, I’m totally smitten. I don’t know if it’s his laugh, or his larger-than-life personality, but I’m definitely loving his show, Mad Fashion. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do! It’s on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10PM.
This week Chris got a call from Jennifer Coolidge. She’s one of my favorite actresses because she can play dumb brilliantly. Love, love, loved her in Legally Blonde! You just bend, and snap! Ugh. Love.
Anyway, so Jennifer is, like, the queen of some float for Mardi Gras and thought she could just wing it. When she realized she needed something fabulous, she called Chris. Get this – she gives him three days to make a costume for her! Why do these clients always wait until the last minute? Sure, Chris is brilliant and can whip up extreme fashion in nothing flat, but jeez. It’s like he’s still on Project Runway, but with a bigger budget and no Tim Gunn saying, ‘Make it work’. Poor Chris!
Jennifer wants something with, maybe, ‘Rockets in the breast’. O.M.G. That woman is hilarious!
Long story short – Chris makes it work and they get to New Orleans the day before the parade to finish everything up.
THIS is the final product.
What did Jennifer say when she had it all put on?
“I so want to stop at 7/11 and get some gum.”
Hilarious! Okay, so there weren’t any rockets from the breasts, but she looked amazing.
Just another day in the life of Chris March and his Mad Fashion team. Whew!
Rachel Zoe had her baby (so cute!), Rodger bought her an outrageous 10 Karat diamond ring as a ‘push present’, Joey & Mandana were mean and catty about Jeremiah, who was kind enough to come back and decorate the baby’s room. Even though they ditched him to go to the hospital to be with Rachel. Whatever. I’m out of love with this show. Moving on.
Top Chef Just Desserts
This week the cheftestants got right into the elimination challenge. No quick fire, no warm up, bam! Straight to the challenge. Which was to create a dessert that looks like a savory dish from a country that they choose.
Chris gets France, Orlando Spain, Matthew Italy, and Sally chooses Cuba. Cuba? Really? Um, okay then. Good luck with that.
When they start their cooking, all of the chefs are freaking out a little except Matthew. He knew exactly what he wanted to make and never wavered. His pick? Manicotti.
Dude, it’s Italy, you can do so much more! Oh, well.
When Johnny comes for his little visit/pep talk, Chris tells him he’s making Beef Wellington. Um, isn’t that a British dish? Apparently Chris doesn’t know the history of his dish – it was named after the Duke of Wellington (an English dude). Buuuuut, since it was named for him after he defeated Napoleon, and there is actually a French dish similar – Filet en croute, Johnny let’s it slide. Hmmm.
Orlando decides to make paella and it’s a little embarrassing how much he’s sucking up to Johnny. In the past, he’s butted heads with the judge, but on that day, Orlando saw the wisdom of everything Johnny said. Really? No, seriously, what happened to whiney, snarky Orlando? Who’s this timid little thing making paella? I miss Orlando!
Sally spends way too much time freaking out about her dish and thinks she’ll make two and pick the best one, but Johnny calms her down and she settles for a Cuban sandwich. Whew! Now she can start cooking (it’s only taken, like, an hour for her to decide on this. Yes, an hour.)
Right. So after we get some sob stories, Sally was a rowdy teenager, but totally appreciates everything her mom’s done for her. Orlando was shunned by his family when he came out, etc. we get back to the real excitement. Cooking.
Chris told Johnny he wouldn’t use puff pastry, but guess what’s on his beef? Yep, store bought puff pastry. Lazy boy didn’t even make his own! That could be the one thing that sends him home.
Matthew told Johnny he’d use tomatoes in his dish, but changes his mind and only uses jelly. Hmmm, that could be the thing that sends him home. Silly boys. Never make last minute changes!
Cat Cora is the guest judge and Orlando is all giddy over her. She’s his favorite chef and he almost pee’s himself when he presents his dish to her. Yep. Orlando has left the building. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s a pale comparison to the original Orlando. Jus’ sayin’.
The judges argue back and forth over tiny little flaws in everyone’s dish. Orlando’s rice is mushy, Sally’s mousse is too messy, Matthew wasn’t creative enough, and that dreaded puff pastry for Chris.
Who stays for the finale and who goes home?
Orlando goes home!
Wow. That kind of shocked me a little. I thought for sure Matthew was going home, but the judges really hated Orlando’s rice. And in front of Cat Cora, too. Poor Orlando.
I was really hoping for a Chris/Orlando showdown at the finale. Oh, well. We’ll see next week who is Top Chef!
America’s Next Top Model
Let me just say before we begin. I had no idea who Coca Rocha was before this show, but I’m so smitten with her! She’s gorgeous. Truly. Love.
Backup, so the show starts with the girls having a football challenge. All the eliminated girls are brought back to be on teams with the remaining girls.
Each team gets two professional football players. What?!?
Yep. The winning team will get $5000 for the football player’s charities. Super cool. The winning model gets jewelry. Huh.
It’s not just a football game, it’s also a photo challenge. Each girl has to pose with the football players at certain times throughout the game. Yikes. That makes my head swim, I can only imagine how the girls feel. Are we modeling or playing football? Both!
Kayla wins the photo challenge and gets to be on Tyra’s website for something. I forget because I was too busy looking at her pretty sparkly jewelry. Yep, I’m easily distracted by sparkly things.
The real photo challenge of the week is a bitch fight with Coco Rocha. She’s a supermodel who is known for her posing skills. She works her angles, baby! Okay, so I don’t really know what that means, but they kept saying it, so I thought I’d throw it in here. I think it means she can make weird faces look pretty.
You can’t really see her gorgeous face here, but she was amazing with all the girls. They were pulling her hair, her clothes, everything and she just kept on modeling.
There was a moment when Angelea was doubting herself and Mr. Jay had to give her a pep talk. I’m going to include what he told her here because it hit me that this is what so many of us writers are doing. We’re “struggling with a sense of self and whether we’re worthy enough.” Yeah, we are.
Anytime you put something out there, whether it’s writing or modeling, you’re exposed to judgments and that can be harsh.
Well, Angelea pulled herself together and rocked the rest of the photo shoot. Not well enough to get top photo, but she was close.
Best photo this week went to Dominique. I don’t know why, but the judges loved it. Meh.
The bottom two were Bre and Alexandria. Tyra told the girls that they both are only showing a smidgen of the power they had in their original cycles. Hmm. Bre and Alexandria thought they were super powerful and would take the top photo spot. Ooops.
Bre was eliminated and instead of waiting patiently to hug Tyra and the other girls, she just left the room. It was awkward and strange. I thought Bre had more class than that.
Oh, well. Buh-bye Bre!
This week is Part One of the Finale! All of the designers go home to make their ten piece collection. As always, Tim Gunn visits each designer to check on their progress.
First up, Kimberly.
Tim likes thinks she needs to take more risks and wow the judges.
Next, Tim goes to Trinidad to see Anya’s collection.
Well, Anya has some pretty fabric, but nothing constructed yet. Um, you only have a few weeks, girlfriend! Get sewing!!
Viktor has amazing clothes that totally wow Tim, but he warns Viktor not to over think his designs. To let his visceral dictate. What the hell does that mean?
To be more base or crude? To follow his instinct more? I thought that’s what he was doing. I sure hope Viktor gets what Tim means!
On to Joshua. Poor, poor Joshy. Tim hates all of his fabrics, even saying that one of them makes him sad and want to weep. He wants to know what happened? Where’s the sex?
Oh. My. Heck.
I love Tim Gunn so much! He’s a total crack up in a suit. Love.
Once all the designers get back to New York (in an amazing penthouse suite!!), Tim tells them they have to show three looks and one of them is going to get booted.
All of the designers, except Viktor, freak out. Viktor is totally done with his collection, but the other three are still sewing, still designing. Um, wasn’t that what all that time at home was for? Duh.
On the runway Viktor’s looks are amazing. Kimberly’s are, um, cheap? Trashy? Ick. I don’t like them at all, which is strange since I usually like her designs. Joshua’s look very cool and Anya’s are ho-hum.
The judges basically rip all the collections apart and give out just as many compliments to each designer. You really have no idea who is going to go home, but are pretty sure it’s going to be one of the girls. Even the girls think it’s going to be one of them.
Well, those stinky judges tell Joshua he’s in, then Viktor, then Kimberly. Which leaves Anya standing alone on the runway. Poor Anya. (okay, secretly I’m ecstatic at this point. Anya needs to go home! Her collection was boooooooring.) Wait a minute. Did Heidi just tell Anya she’s in as well? Damn. Yep, all four of the designers will show their collection at Fashion Week.
If they pull another Mondo on me, I’ll be so mad! Viktor is clearly the most talented, but Anya has been a favorite the whole show. We’ll see what happens next week. Ugh!
Until then, here are the designers three runway looks. Which is your favorite? Who do you want to win?