Tag Archives: Twitter

2013 Will Be Phenomenal! Dream Big, Plan Accordingly

Unlike my girl Sleeping Beauty, I won't drowse away 2013. It's time to wake up, kick butt, and make dreams into reality!

Unlike my girl Sleeping Beauty, I won’t drowse away 2013. It’s time to wake up, kick butt, and make dreams into reality!

Happy New Year my friends! It’s the beginning of a new year and for many of us, a time to reflect on the past year. What worked, what didn’t, where would we like to be this time next year, etc.

I love goals. Resolutions, if you will. Dreams made real.

Every wish, every step toward attaining a goal begins with a dream. A whispered desire to your soul. Writing down that wish then becomes a goal. Having a cute journal to keep your wishes in makes it fun.

Last year, I didn’t make any resolutions, instead I focused on being grateful each day, which was interesting and fun.

For 2013, I’m still going to keep that practice, even if I don’t post a picture everyday on Facebook. This year, I’m going to challenge myself. Professionally and personally. And I invite you to do the same.

Write down your intentions, set goals, work toward achieving those dreams.

Post your goals in the comments, or leave a link where we can all hop over and support you in your journey! I’m of the belief that writing goals down makes them more real, something concrete you can see. But if you keep them hidden in a drawer, they are yours and yours alone. If you don’t achieve them, the only person who knows is you.

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone this year and sharing with you the lofty goals I’ve set so I have accountability. I have all of you to share my triumphs at the end of the year. I’m sure there will be some failures as well, but that’s okay. Sometimes success is built on failure. A lot of time, actually. So even my failures will be successes for us to share.

On with the goals!

Writing Goals:

In 2013 I will…

  • Attend four conferences ~ Southern California Writers Conference in February, SoCal RWA Conference in March, Dallas Writers Conference in May, and RWA Nationals in July. **For each conference I must have a competed MS to pitch to agents.
  • Finish edits for Because of You and start submitting to agents and editors. Take BoY to all four conferences.
  • Write two books under a pen name. Book one to be completed by March for the SoCalRWA.
  • Submit The Temple of Ardyn to agents and editors. Take to SCWC, DFWCon, and RWA Nationals.
  • Write book two of the fantasy series with the first draft being complete by the end of December.
  • Continue blogging twice a week.
  • Learn to love Twitter
  • If I don’t have a contract by the end of 2013 for any of the four completed books I’ve written, self publish. It’s my dream to traditionally publish, but sometimes dreams need to be tweaked. 🙂

Personal Goals:

  • Live with intention every day.
  • Notice the little things and don’t stress what I can’t change.
  • Be more mindful of what I put into my body. It’s not getting any younger, you know!
  • Be more active. Writing is my passion ~ I could do it 24 hours a day, unfortunately, the size of my ass is telling me that’s not such a good thing.
  • Smaller ass by the end of 2013 (see above).
  • Laugh more, worry less.
  • Not everyone is going to like me. Accept this and love myself anyway.
  • Play more board games with my husband. It might not be my thing, but it’s his and he’s always supported my wild ideas and passions.
  • Have more sex! Yes, I’m putting this out there for the universe to see. Sex it great. I should never be too tired, too stressed, too anything not to enjoy this fabulous activity.
  • Stay connected with friends. Facebook makes it far too easy to skip calling or sending a short note in the mail. This year, I’m going to make sure I see more friends face-to-face.

Now it’s your turn. What are some dreams you’ve got cooking up in your brain? My friend Debra Kristi gave me a cool mousepad for Christmas with a picture of a mock-up book cover for my fantasy novel. All around the edge is the word, ‘Believe’.

Believe it and make it so. Go out there and kick some 2013 butt!

If you feel like being even more inspired to set some goals, check out these cool blogs.

Patricia Sands reminds us that it’s not just about setting goals, but remembering those who came before us and to celebrate the human spirit. It’s a lovely post, please do read it.

Ellie Ann Soderstrom keeps it light and fun with her goals. 1st prize for sand sculpting, huh? Yep, she’s a wackadoodle and that’s why we love her.

Sydney Aaliyah keeps it real with reading, writing, and arithmetic goals. Math? Sure, why not! Read it to see what she’s talking about.

Elena Aitken gives us five tips to setting goals. I especially like #3 and #4.

And of course, Tiffany A White has some great T.V. related stuff for 2013. It’s not goal making, I know, but by now we need some relief from all the champagne and resolutions!

Whatever you do in 2013, be amazing.

Pimp or Promote! It’s all about YOU today on the blog!

This is my gal pal Gayle on her horse Snoopy. They’re showing today at the Del Mar Fairgrounds and I’m playing hooky to go see them!

Hmmm, where are my cowboy boots and that pink cowboy hat with the tiara?

Since I’ll be gone today, why don’t you take this opportunity to Pimp or Promote either yourself or someone else!

That’s my homeboy Pimp Dawg.

Today is all about YOU!! In the comments, tell us what you’re working on ~ your book, your fabulous blog post for today or last week, your laundry, go ahead! Pimp yourself right here on my blog.

Want to share the love for someone else? That’s cool, too. Tell us about a friend’s blog, book, or laundry. It’s all good. Make sure we have links so we can all head on over to check out the fabulousness you’re promoting.

I’m still looking for more great writing music. You all had amazing songs last week, have you thought of any others?

By the way, if you’ve never checked out Gayle’s blog, she’s pretty darn funny. She has a few different blogs, one all about her horse Snoopy. Go ahead, give her some love!

The Gift of Friendship and a Kickass Drink


As you all know by now, this week marks my seventeenth anniversary of my thirtieth birthday. To celebrate, I’m inviting all my friends to hang out and enjoy the party!

I love getting gifts. It’s true, I really do, but there’s something I love more than getting them and that’s giving them. This party, while on the surface is meant to celebrate my *cough* many years of life, is also my way of giving back. Get to know some of these great people who have touched my life in more ways than I can count. If you’ve never been to their blog, check them out and you won’t be disappointed.

Enough of the mush, it’s time to party!

First up, I want to introduce you to a new friend I made on Twitter ~ his name is Brian B. Baker and he’s super cool. He’ll be manning the bar for us this week and guess what? I asked him yesterday if he could make a drink just for my birthday celebration and he said yes! Just like that, this super fab guy came up with the White Chocolate Truffle. Ooooh, yum! Doesn’t that look delish? Here’s how you make it:

White Chocolate Truffle

  • 1 Oz. Jack Daniels (I’m liking this already)
  • 1 Oz. Frangelico
  • 2 Oz. White Creme de Cacao
  • 3 Oz. Cream

Shake and strain into a martini glass that’s been laced with chocolate syrup. Super easy, super yum! Thanks Brian for getting us all in the mood to party. Follow Brian on Twitter ~ @BB_Baker and then go check out his blog.

Come on in! Grab a drink, mingle, get some nibbles. We’ve got some of my favorite Sprinkles Cupcakes. Since they’re virtual, no calories! August McLaughlin and Kate MacNicol will like that.

Barbara McDowell is spinning the tunes, that is, when she’s not out on the dance floor!

I see Jenny Hansen and Natalie Hartford are having a debate about the best Mundies. I’m partial to the elephant ones, myself. How about you?

HOLD the phone! We have a party crasher in our midst! Looks like Natalie’s Hubby came to the party and he dressed for the occasion. Let’s just say we’ll all be calling him, Mr. Sparkles by the end of the night. 😉

Myndi Shafer is here and since she’s about twenty months pregnant, she’ll be the key keeper. Hand ’em over folks. We’ll not have any drunken posting during our party!

I need to thank Jillian Dodd, Jennifer Tanner, and Marcia Richards for the amazing decorations. These ladies know how to throw together a party. Mwuah!

Oooh, look there’s Susie Lindau and Coleen Patrick. They’re talking with Elena Aitken about, of all things, Leprechauns and extreme sports. These women are wild and tons of fun!

We’ve got a special treat for you. Piper Bayard has agreed to do a little belly dancing for us. That is, if her partner Holmes will allow it. He’s super secret, that Holmes. Has anyone actually seen him? Yeah, me either. I bet Donna Newton has. Let’s ask her!

Over by the bar, I see Carrie Spencer, the crazy cat lady, chatting with Amy Shojai. What deviousness are they’re up to? Probably something having to do with animals taking over the world.

Oooh, looks like Amber West and Tiffany A. White are having a  throw down over the best TV Drama. Hey ladies, it’s Castle. Problem solved. 🙂

Debra Kristi is hanging out with Rebekah Loper, Angela Wallace, Marcy Kennedy, and Lissa Clouser. I wonder what they’re talking about. Probably immortals and fantastical elements. We’ll head over there in a minute. Oh, cool! Kate Wood is joining them. She can add her vast knowledge of the Celts to the discussion.

I hear laughter and that can mean only one thing ~ Gayle Carline is in the house!

This party is hopping, but there are still a few folks who haven’t arrived yet. Oh, wait! I see Patricia Sands came with Ali Dent and Angela Orlowski-Peart. Those ladies are always dressed impeccably and are full of grace in all they do. I hope Patricia brought some of the brie she got on her trip to France. Yum, bread and cheese. Really, besides cupcakes, what more do we need?

Apparently a lot more. Bridgette Booth and Diana Murdock are loading the tables with tons of food. Kalochies, anyone? Thanks ladies! Hey, make sure you ask Diana about the awesome tattoo she got. If only I was that cool when I was younger…She’s totally my favorite badass chick.

What’s with all the guys hanging out in the corner? I see you, Gene Lempp, MJ Monaghan, David Walker, and Fabio Bueno! Get out there and chat with the ladies. They don’t bite. I think.

Nancy J. Nicholson just sailed in on her way back from the Caribbean and look, she stopped by Australia to pick up Naomi Bulger. It’s an international crowd here, today!

I just overheard Leanne Shirtliffe telling Steena Holmes and Ginger Calem the naughtiest joke. I think I’m blushing! I’ll tell you later, when all the guests have gone home and there aren’t any little ones around…

Uh, oh. Looks like Callene Rapp roped Marion Spicher into watching Full Metal Jousting with her. I wonder who Marion wants to win? My money’s on Rope. Yes, that really is his name. Looks like Louise Behiel is getting on the action. Who knew she was a jousting fan!

Out on the dance floor, Virginia Ripple is busting a move to Barbara’s awesome tunes. I see Sara from Stories and Sweet Potatoes has joined her. Those ladies can rock! Wait, is that, yes, I think it is! Nicole Basaraba and Ingrid Schaffenburg managed to get Emma Meade out there, too!

Kristy K. James and Traci Bell prefer to hang out on the comfy couch enjoying their drinks, but did you see those score cards? They’re rating the dancers. Awesome idea, ladies! I think they only have the number 10, because that’s what everyone’s gotten so far.

Lena Corazon showed up with her favorite Hugh Jackman movie. I mean, movies. HJ Marathon!!

What an amazing party! I hope you got a chance to make some new friends today. Check out their blogs, follow them on Twitter, friend them on Facebook, whatever it takes to keep this party going.

Much love, my friends.


Is Social Media All Song and Dance?


All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

As You Like It Act 2, scene 7, 139–143

A few years ago my family took a vacation to Park City, Utah for the Christmas Holiday. If you know anything about me, it’s that I love Christmas almost as much as Buddy does in the movie Elf. On this particular trip, it was bloody cold. We’re talking 7 degrees. For us Southern California people, that was just stupid cold. Not only was it freezing, but there I was, in a tiny condo with my family and two dogs without a single Christmas decoration ~ not even a tree. It was hard to find the Christmas spirit that year, but I did my best.

I posted updates on our adventures: the kids sledding down an impromptu hill near the library, all of us snowmobiling, Alexzandra breaking speed barriers at the Olympic Training Center. On facebook, it looked like we were having the best vacation of all time. And we were. Except for the cold and lack of Christmas Spirit, but who wants to post cranky things like that for the world to read? Not me.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when my sister told me our vacation seemed more romantic on facebook. I was. I took what she said personally as if she thought I was lying about how fabulous the trip was.

Then one day I was reading a blog or an article online that said all of social media is a performance. Whether we choose to post positive or negative comments, we are making an active decision to portray ourselves to the world in a certain way. We are, in effect, all actors upon the world’s stage.


I fought the logic for a long time. I wasn’t just acting, was I? My posts were a valid representation of my life, weren’t they?

Yes and yes.

If Shakespeare was correct when he wrote those lines for Jacques to utter in As You Like It, then we are all actors and it just depends on the performance we’re giving at any given time whether or not it’s a comedy, drama, or tragedy.

For me, I prefer to keep my facebook and blog posts light and full of positivity. On Twitter I’ll pop in to update my tweeps about my writing or if there’s something special going on that day. I like to think of my social media experience as a gathering of my good friends around one big table and we’re all just hanging out having tea and cake. That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes whine to my friends about my frustrations with revising the beast or the cost of gas (don’t even get me started on this one!), but mostly I like to hear what they’ve been up to and share only the good parts of my day.

I mean, really do you want to know what I had for breakfast or that I’m running around the house in my jammies. Okay, I do tweet that a lot, sorry.

The point is, whether we rant on facebook about an ex-girlfriend or a terrible publisher (you wouldn’t believe how many of these comments fly past my feed), or we only post pictures of cats saying funny things, we’re all acting. We’re saying, ‘Look at me! This is who I am today!’. So, yeah, my facebook updates only showcased the highlights of that trip. No one needed to know how depressed I was that it was Christmas and while I was surrounded by snow, I couldn’t ski down those gorgeous mountains because of my stupid surgery. And they definitely didn’t need to know that each time we got in the car to drive somewhere I was terrified that I’d lose control and kill my entire family.

If leaving out all the scary/negative things makes my facebook updates sound romantic, I’ll take it. So I guess in a way, my sister was paying me a huge compliment. Thanks, Sis!

What do you think? Are we all just acting on social media? Do you think even people who present themselves as ‘raw’ or ‘real’ are simply hiding behind their rants and quirks? I’d love to hear what you think about this topic!

Pimp Your Blog! That’s right, head on over and promote yourself today…

I said pimp your BLOG, not your dog!

Hey All!

Well, this week I got hit with a cold. Nasty little bugger that swiped my energy. I thought I had a swell post all lined up for you, but guess what? I didn’t! Thanks to Jenny Hansen, (she’s so awesome, isn’t she?) I thought I’d use my brain lapse to your benefit.

So… today I want you to pimp yourself. You heard me. Promote your blog, your book, your favorite pet ~ anything you want! Use the comments to tell us how fabulous you are, what you’re really looking forward to in 2012, or why you don’t understand belly buttons. It’s your day here at A Cup of Tea and Sorcery.

Dazzle us!

Going Without to Give Back. Yep, it really is that easy!

From a simple thing beauty blooms.

Here in the blogosphere there’s a movement happening… some bloggers have been going without to give back.

It’s rumored that super fabulicious Amber West started this whole thing and I’ve been excited to get onboard. But first, what exactly is ‘going without’, anyway?

Going without to give back is simple. You give up something for a week or more and give the money you would have spent to a charity or someone in need. It can be as big or little as you make it. A daily soda or latte, your weekly budget for eating lunch out, a cupcake indulgence, or even a candy bar.

This is where I got stumped. If you’ve reading the blog, then you know I’m on a journey to better my health, otherwise known as a diet. There isn’t much I can give up. I commented on Diana Murdock’s blog that I’d give up mani/pedis, but that didn’t seem like enough. I mean, how often do we get mani/pedis anyway? Once a month? Nope, I wanted to do more. Give more.

Then something my amazing trainer Nicole once told me popped into my head. She suggested every time I wanted a latte or fast food, to drop the $5 I would’ve spent into a jar and at the end of the week to treat myself to, well, a mani/pedi or cute clothes.

What a fabulous idea! Except, I’m not going to treat myself, I’m going to donate that money to Share our Strength. Here’s my plan: Every time I want to cheat on my diet and get fast food, a latte, or eat something that’s totally off limits, I’m going to put a marble in a jar. Each marble represents $5. Ouch for me, yay for Share our Strength!

I figure this is win-win-win. Share our Strength gets a nice donation, I don’t sabotage my diet, and every time I drop a marble in the jar, it’s a victory for me and my health. That visual alone will be worth all the money Share our Strength is going to get.

Before you start thinking this is not something you could possibly do (times are tough right now and budgets are tight), this is a two-part challenge.

Giving back is important, but so are Random Acts of Kindness. In her blog, Diana talked about how a hug made someone’s night and how it affected her as well. Just a simple hug.

Random Acts, or Gentillesse Gratuité as Patricia Sands refers to it, is free kindness. A hug, a kind word, even a smile given freely to a stranger or someone you know can have lasting impact. It costs nothing, go ahead, spread some free kindness today!

Natalie Hartford – a super awemazing lady, let me borrow this from her blog: this is what Amber has called the #gowithout Movement and here’s how it works:

  1. Choose something to go without (as small or as large as you want) for a week.
  2. Blog (or Facebook/Tweet) about what you are giving up and who you are giving your $5/$10/$20/whatever to.
  3. Link your blog here and join the others participating in Amber’s #gowithout movement. The linky tool will be active for a month, so there’s plenty of time to join.

If you don’t blog, don’t worry! Anyone can participate in giving back.

  • Leave a comment at any of the blogs taking part and let us know how you will join in the #gowithout movement.
  • Post a photo on Facebook.
  • Visit Twitter and Amber’s hashtag #gowithout and tweet what you’re giving up and which wonderful charity will get a donation from you.
It really is THAT easy. Give a hug, give up a latte, give to someone in need. A ginormous thanks to Amber for starting this and all the awesome bloggers out there who are making a difference in the lives of others. You all ROCK!
I’m going to keep my jar open until the end of the year and I’ll let you know how much I saved for Share our Strength. Now it’s your turn, what would you #gowithout?

Do You Name Names? Finding the Right Etiquette for Social Media.

An interesting question was passed by me last week and it’s got me thinking. When it comes to Social Media, do you name names?

I’m not talking about being a name dropper, like “Hey, I saw Nathan Fillion at Comic-Con!”

Although, he is pretty darn cute and I actually DID see him at Comic-Con.

Celebrity name dropping aside, what I mean is when you update Facebook or Twitter, heck even on your blogs, do you maintain a sense of privacy for your family and friends, or do you use their real names?

We’re told that, as authors, we need to use our name. Our real name, not a pseudonym or pen name. We need to be authentic and genuine.

In the next breath, we’re told to only put personal information on our personal account on Facebook and to never, ever, ever say the names of our children, dogs, hamsters, or chickens in our posts. This is followed up with the advice to have a fan page just for readers and fellow writers and a personal page just for family and friends.

Apparently, the two don’t mix. Your family and friends can’t possibly be fans or readers and heaven forbid if any of your readers find out anything personal about you!

This idea just seems to scream multiple personality disorder to me. I mean, how can I be authentic if I’m not sharing my genuine self on Social Media and interacting with all my peeps – fans, readers, writers, family, and friends? And then to do this without naming names? Madness I tell you, utter madness!

I started to pay a little more attention to how everyone I know approaches this subject. Some of my friends use cute monikers for their kids and spouses – Thing 01 and Thing 02 seem to be very popular. DH (darling husband), DD (darling daughter), DS (darling son) work for the family. Others put their kids’ names and pictures up all over Facebook – young, old, doesn’t matter. It seemed to be evenly split between the namers and non-namers.

Well, that didn’t help at all. Next, I took a look at writer friends specifically. How do they handle personal vs. professional posts?

Some writer friends will only post personal information on their ‘Friend’ wall on Facebook, keeping all writing stuff to their fan page. They tend to double dip, meaning they post the same writer stuff on both accounts, but only family/personal stuff on their ‘Friend’ wall. The double dipping only bothers me when they spam my wall with pleas to buy their book three times a day. For those of you counting, that means six times. Yikes.

Other writer friends have only a ‘Friend’ account on Facebook and post everything there – writing stuff and personal stuff. Either they’re like me, unpublished (so far!) and so they don’t need a fan page yet, or they are published, but like the intimacy the ‘Friend’ wall provides.

Why all the fuss? To keep our identities safe from those creepy people who troll the internet looking for their next victim.

I still didn’t know the answer. Should I name names?

Way back in the day when our daughter started using the internet, we’d tell her, be very careful online with what information you share. You might think you’re making friends with a sweet kid your age, but really it could be some naked dude calling himself ‘Teenhottie.’

Unfortunately, there are bad people in the world and yes, we have to be vigilant and keep our children safe, but at the same time we have to inform them and empower them to make good decisions and use good judgements. David and I monitor our son’s computer use as well as his cell phone. If there is something hinky going on, we immediately address the issue and explain to him why we’ve taken the action we did.

Yes, I worry about the pedophile who might pretend to be a gamer online to get access to my son, but the threat I truly fear is fear itself. We are supposed to build an online community, but if we put up all these parameters and walls to keep out the unworthy, aren’t we then prohibiting others from entering our village?

Our kids have grown up with computers in a way that I never did. They understand the lingo and can traverse the vast expanse of cyber space with the ease of brushing their teeth. It’s second nature to them. We trust them online because we communicate with them about the risks and dangers that exist on the internet.

Much the same as we talk to them about the dangers of bad guys in the real world. The online threat is real, I know that, but so is the face-to-face abductor who might approach Michael and tell him he has a hurt puppy in his car. I know my kids, they love animals and would want to help, but we’ve told them so many times that the hurt puppy isn’t worth their life. If there really is an injured animal, the person won’t mind you calling the police for help, right?

When the question of naming names came up, I asked David, ‘Is this something we need to be worried about? I mean, are we putting our children at risk by printing their names online?’ We talked that night and came to the conclusion that there is no right or wrong answer. If our kids were younger, I’d probably refer to them by a cute nickname, but they are old enough to understand our concerns about the internet. And smart enough to keep personal information off their accounts.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you’re comfortable posting.

As for Facebook, I choose to include family and strangers in my ‘Friend’s’ list. I’ve made some amazing, real friends on Social Media, women and men who enrich my life and make me a better writer and person. Conversely, if there is someone who makes my gut clench, I unfriend them. I’ve only had to do that twice, but each time I knew it was the right decision. I don’t friend just anyone, or follow blindly on Twitter, but at the same time I don’t make people jump through hoops to find me.

I’d love to hear from you. Do you keep your private life private, or do you share your life online? Do you have cute nicknames for your children and husband or name names?

When Your Babies Aren’t Babies Anymore

It’s Magical Monday here at the olde blogge and I’ve brewed up a cup of Scottish Breakfast tea with a touch of milk and honey because I’m feeling nostalgic and reminiscing about when my sweet baby girl was just that – a baby.

Parenting is hard. Parenting is awesome. Parenting is a dichotomy wrapped up in a conundrum and I’m still trying to figure it out. Especially with my oldest.

Alexzandra is twenty and amazing in more ways than I can count. She’s talented and quirky and she embraces life with such exuberance I lose sleep most nights. As an example, these are two quotes taken from her facebook wall:

Got hit by a car today on my bicycle! Lol…

and this little gem:

And today I stopped a guy from beating up this girl near my house. Yaaayy…


Now, what’s a Mom to do with this information especially when she’s so far away? Last month my baby girl moved back to San Francisco, a city she adores. She’s going to school and has a part time job with a preschool teaching kids yoga, which is perfect for her. While I understand why she needs to be in San Francisco and her desire to make her own way in life, I wish she was closer. Because she’s my baby even though she’s not a baby anymore.

Alexzandra was my first true love. Before her, I had deep commitment issues and she taught me how to love someone unconditionally and gave me courage to open my heart and allow others in. It’s incredible what children can teach adults. If not for Alexzandra, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to accept someone’s love and stay committed to them. Alexzandra showed me that loving someone is scary, but worth the risk.

Alexzandra and I were always close. I would refer to her as mini-me because we had similar styles and temperaments. Which was great until she started wanting to be her own person and I selfishly clung to the little girl she no longer was. At seventeen, she moved to San Francisco to be on her own. I was terrified for her and a little bitter that she left me. Selfish, I know.

I missed the closeness we had when she was younger. I longed for the days when we’d play together or shop and talk for hours. She was a young woman and didn’t need me as much. I kept trying to make myself indispensable and in the process made myself miserable.

She moved back to San Diego after a year away and we were able to forge a new relationship, but it took work on both our parts. I had to back off and give her freedom to make her own mistakes and she had to understand that I’m a MOM and I don’t get days off. You never retire from being a parent. I’ll be ninety-seven and I’ll still call her to make sure she’s eating enough.

And those facebook posts? I’ll worry about her and then deep inside I’ll be damn proud of the woman she’s becoming. She’s like me in so many ways and yet she’s completely her own person. And apparently, she’s kind of a badass.

Still, she’s my sweet baby girl and every time I hear Coldplay’s Fix You I can’t help but think of Alexzandra.

Sometimes I forget to tell Alexzandra this, but to me, she’s F*ckin Perfect. Thank you, Pink for summing it up so eloquently. The video’s a little harsh, but I love the words.

How about you? Have you ever learned about something important from a facebook post or Twitter update? Are there any songs that make you misty-eyed each time you hear them or make you think of a certain someone? Have your babies grown up and left for places unknown? Do you still worry about them?

Are we meant to be loners or part of a (virtual) tribe?

Recently it was suggested to me that we don’t need to live with others to be happy.


We live in a world full of communities and relationships. Even cave people lived in groups because they knew if they stayed together there was a greater chance they wouldn’t be mammoth chow. They didn’t give a crap about happiness, they just wanted to survive another day.

I’ve totally been there. Not hunting mammoths, but just hoping I’d survive the day. Unlike those cave dudes, we modern folks have ways of dealing with stress and usually it involves others.

Without people in our lives, we’d be all alone on the swing set with no one to push us and make us go higher. Like this lady. I don’t know if she likes being alone, or if she’s just protecting her swing, but she doesn’t look happy to me. She looks sad, as if she wants someone to come and give her a great big push. To feel the air rushing through her hair and see her feet high above her head, to believe if only for a moment that she can fly. Yeah, I think she’d like that.

Is being alone better?

Deep down, I think we all want a great big push so that we can feel like we can fly. We need to take turns pushing and swinging, to laugh out loud when we fall off the swing and then get right back on. Whether that’s in the ‘real world’ or online, it doesn’t matter.

Kristen Lamb wrote a book for writers called, We Are Not Alone. It’s an excellent guide to navigating social media and even if you aren’t a writer, I recommend it just for the easy to understand advice she gives. She talks a lot about helping each other, being a team. In her weekly blog tips she breaks down Social Media in ways that make sense – here’s a link, http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/. I didn’t even know what I didn’t know until I found Kristen. She’s given me a ginormous push on the Social Media swing!

Which brings us back to happiness via others. I have friends on Facebook that are as dear to me as my friends who live down the street. I laugh at the silly videos they post and send cyber hugs when their news isn’t so sunny. Sure, Social Media is about networking and making connections, but it’s also about relationships. We have a need to reach out to people. You know the best part? We can do it at 2 A.M., in our jammies! Shhhh, no one needs to know.

They are in my tribe.

Happiness online.

What about you? Are you a loner or do you feel compelled to be a part of a community? Do you like Social Media and all of it’s quirks, or would you rather throw your computer out the window and say, ‘To hell with technology!’ (I’ve been there, I understand!)

Who’s in your tribe? I’d love to know!